


Broken Melody

by Denstort



Category: Muse (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sexual Content, Sexual Manipulation, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-28 06:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 25,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5081377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denstort/pseuds/Denstort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aziz is dead....Matthew is back home....but that doesn't mean that everything is hunky dory......</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part 4 of "Music Heals...." Series

Dominic sighed as he waited for the gates to the Wolstenholme’s home to open. Matthew had been home for six weeks, but nothing had changed.

According to Chris it was like having a ghost in the house. Matthew would appear at meals times, take his food and then disappear to any place that was the furthest away from the family. 

Chris was worried because they would often find the plate with hardly anything eaten, but every time Dominic saw him, he seemed healthy enough, and he had the suspicious feeling that Matthew was eating when and what hechose.

So, he’d suggested that they take a note of what seemed to be missing from the fridge or the cupboards and keep replacing it….and yes, he was eating what he wanted.

Dominic wished there wasn’t this whole house arrest thing happening; he was certain that it wasn’t helping and as much as he’d hated Aziz Bishara, Matthew had more freedom when he was with him than he did now.

He had stayed away, thinking that the last person Matthew would want to see was himself…but he couldn’t stay away.

**************

“Dom, it’s good to see you,” Chris said after he let him in.

“I can’t stay away…I’ve tried.”

“You shouldn’t have.”

“How is he?”

“No different, like I told you…a ghost.”

“Where is he hiding today?”

Chris thought for a moment, “The sun room, I think. Yeah, the cleaner said he gave her a fright, he’s so bloody quiet. You going to try and talk to him?”

“Try being the word.”

Chris gave him a small smile, but it was tinged with sadness.

“He’s worse than before, he used to sit with us at meal times, but now. Hell, he hasn’t even tried to get away, that would at least be something.”

“As loathe as I am to say it, let alone think it, he may have had genuine feelings for Aziz. I believe he’s grieving, and like anyone that’s grieving, they need time. But he does need to talk to someone.”

“We’ve tried that, there’s been a dozen experts through that door.”

“Doesn’t matter, I want to try. He and I…you know.”

Chris put a hand on his shoulder, “I know, maybe he’ll talk to you.”

******************

Dominic made his way to the back of the house, stopping at the door to the sun room. Matthew was there, lying on one of the loungers; he was asleep.

Dear Lord, he was beautiful, even more so when he was relaxed in sleep. Dominic studied his features…those cheekbones, oh how he wanted to run his fingers over them once again; wanted those sapphire eyes to look at him with love.

He tensed when Mathew stirred, let out a sigh and stretched, exposing a sliver of pale skin. He couldn’t stop his sharp intake of breath, which made Matthew sit up, his head snapping round.

“Matthew,” Dominic said, but withered under the glare of those glacial orbs.

Matthew stood but remained silent, his eyes showing anything but love.

Dominic took a breath, he had to try; no matter how Matthew reacted.

“So, Chris tells me you haven’t tried to escape yet. I’m surprised.”

Mathew’s eyes narrowed in response…a reaction, even if it wasn’t a verbal one.

“Or are you planning it? I guess Tom’s got this place pretty well locked up?”

He risked moving into the room, knowing it would give Matthew an escape route. He moved again and Matthew took a few steps back.

“I didn’t get chance to say it at the time, but I am truly sorry about Aziz.”

Matthew’s eyes widened at that statement, and it looked like he was going to say something. But instead of words  
Dominic could see tears forming.

“No, no, I didn’t mean to…”

He instinctively moved forward and wrapped his arms around Matthew. He didn’t register that Matthew didn’t flinch away or try to extricate himself; just wept silent tears.

They stood like that for a good five minutes before Dominic realised that Matthew had allowed it.

“Matthew,” he said softly, then regretted it as Matthew tensed and pulled away from him.

Those eyes had hardened again and Matthew moved towards the door.

“Don’t go…please.”

Was he mistaken or was there a softening of that gaze…then…

“I need time.”

Matthew turned then and walked out.

Dominic smiled….it had only been three words, but it was like an oasis in the desert.

*******************

“Matthew?”

God, he wished they would stop calling him that. Why didn’t they use his proper name; they did know it…..and did they really think he was going to tell them anything?

For three days straight he’d been sat in this chair, different people in suits sitting opposite him, asking him about Aziz and his business, and who his associates were. Of course he knew who they were, but he wasn’t about to give them up.

Eventually they had tired of his silence and he was escorted out of the States and handed over to another kind of prison.

He knew it would take time, but he would escape, it was just easier to do it from a house. So he would play the game, play the wounded butterfly. But despite the game he was playing, his heart was empty….Aziz was dead and now the desire for revenge was filling the empty hole where Aziz had been.

He’d been playing the game subtly until he’d overheard Christopher on the phone…Dominic was coming over; time to ramp up the acting.

He heard Dominic approaching the sun room and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. Then after what he considered the right amount of time he shifted and stretched, knowing that his just a little too short t-shirt would ride up and expose a small amount of skin.

He heard Dominic’s breath hitch…so, he still carried a torch for him; this would make it so much easier. 

At first he just glared at him when he spoke…then Dominic had the gall to say he was sorry about Aziz….time for tears. He had to force himself not to flinch away when Dominic wrapped his arms around him, and it wasn’t hard to act grief-stricken, it was the only emotion besides hatred that he would allow.

When Dominic had pleaded for him not to go, he said just three words…three little morsels…that’s it, give him false hope…re-gain his trust, and when the time was right he would act.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As if things weren't bad enough...and once again someone is running.....

“Excuse me, I must be hearing things…that can’t be right. How can they say his statement was inadmissible, when it was at the time? No, it was not done under duress…are they now saying his wasn’t a reliable witness? That’s deplorable, that’s one expert’s opinion. Why weren’t we informed and why wasn’t this all over the papers? It was for their client’s safety…and what about my son’s safety? You better warn them, that if he comes anywhere near any member of my family, especially Matthew, he will be forcibly removed. And when is he being released…. what, two days ago and you’re only calling me now….right, they’ve only just called you. Well I won’t say thank you for informing me. This is a mistake, that man belongs behind bars…goodbye.”

Phillip Wolstenholme slammed the phone down and sat back, running his hands over his face. 

This is very bad, how the hell was he going to handle this, and how were the rest of the family going to react….how would Matthew react?

It was bad enough keeping him shielded from the constant reporting of the abuse trials and the debacle that was Aziz Bishara…but this, this was someone he thought had gone away. There was no getting round it or sugar-  
coating it. He stepped out of his office and said to Tom, who was waiting to see him.

“Thomas, can you call Chris and tell him to come home right away, then find Matthew, drag him if you have to.”

“Is there a problem, sir?”

Just do as I ask,” he replied. He took out his phone and walked back into his study. 

“Dominic, can you be here within the hour?”

**********************

The man took a deep breath and smiled.

“It’s so good to breath air that doesn’t stink of cigarettes and other men.”

“Yes sir.”

“Has everything been returned to me?”

“Everything sir, all your accounts have been unfrozen and all your assets have been placed back in your name.”

The man looked out at the city.

“Now, tell me about my little bird…where has he flown to?”

The other man handed him a folder and the man flicked through it.

“Well, well, my little bird has fledged and landed in a very powerful and expensive nest. Pity it ended so tragically. 

So, he’s under house arrest, but I know what will make him run…time to make a phone call.”

**********************

Tom had searched all the paces he knew that Matthew considered his hiding places, but he was absent, that left only one place…the tree house; could be fun dragging him out of there. He knew there would be no point in asking, the kid would only ignore him.

He was right, Matthew was in the tree house, and as expected he was going to have to drag him back into the house.

“Come on Matthew, don’t be a stubborn bastard. I really don’t want to have to drag you like a bloody mule.”

He received a silent glare, Matthew’s eyes and body language saying ‘not going anywhere with you.’

He couldn’t blame him, he had held a gun to his head…not that he would have shot him. It had been horrible to see the kid holding Aziz, blood everywhere. He’d wanted to grab him and use him to draw Bishara out, but people way beyond his pay grade had other ideas.

In the end, no-one got what they wanted…all they got was a dead criminal/ arms dealer and Matthew, more damaged than ever.

“Look, you’re coming, so you can do it with your dignity intact…or not.”

Blue eye were narrowed at him and to Tom’s surprise Matthew stood and walked past him and Tom followed him….more than likely it was because Mister Wolstenholme had asked for him. Matthew didn’t show any respect for most people, except Chris and Mister and Mrs Wolstenholme.

He only looked interested when Chris arrived and even more so when Dominic arrived…what was going on?

He could hear raised voices from inside the study; it sounded like Chris and he sounded angry. 

He looked over at Matthew and saw him visibly flinch when the voice raised a few decibels…so, he wasn’t as detached as it seems.

The door opened then and Mister Wolstenholme put his head out of the door.

“Matthew, Thomas, come inside.”

“Sit down, Matthew,” Mister Wolstenholme said. “There’s something you need to know. But before I tell you, you need to know that you’re safe here, understand.”

Matthew of course said nothing.

Mister Wolstenholme was silent for few seconds.

“There’s no easy way of saying this….. Donnie James appealed against his sentence and won, and two days ago he was released from prison…I’m sorry.”

Tom looked at Matthew, who didn’t seem to have reacted….no, there was a slight tremor that ran through him.

Matthew stood and walked towards the door…no-one stopped him and he opened it and walked out.

Chris got up to follow, but Mister Wolstenholme said, “Leave him…we need to talk about what we’re going to do now.”

*****************

Matthew hadn’t thought much about his next step towards escaping, his thoughts were full of Aziz. Grief still had his heart and soul in its clawed hands and he needed to go to Aziz’s grave and grieve in the proper manner and not being allowed to do that was a layer of guilt that wrapped him in fire.

That had been his intention, until he was told….he was free, one of the few men he was afraid of.

He wouldn’t have been afraid if Aziz was still alive, he would have been protected, and Donnie James would have been a dead man. But now, despite what Phillip Wolstenholme promised, he knew Donnie would be able to get to him.

He couldn’t stop the shudder than ran through him. He hadn’t planned to escape just yet, but now that had changed. Revenge and grieving had been replaced by fear…fear that Donnie would get to him and if he was lucky he would kill him, or more likely he wouldn’t kill him and make his life hell instead.

He would have to go tonight, run and find a place to hide. For that he would have to leave the country and to leave the country he would need money, but that wouldn’t be a problem in this house; and he knew where to get the money and a way out of the country.

All he had to do was wait until tonight and take what he wanted; that wouldn’t be a problem either, as there was one skill he’d learnt on the streets and that was how to thieve.

*******************

“You know he’ll come after Matthew. Bloody bastards shouldn’t have made him take the stand,” Chris growled.

“Donnie James won’t get near him.”

“Right, and tell me dad, how long before Matt finds a way of getting past Tom’s security?”

“Chris, this isn’t helping, I’m sure the police are aware of the situation, as are the others.”

Chris shook his head, “We didn’t need this…Matthew didn’t need this.”

Dominic had been quiet through all of it. He’d noticed Matthew’s reaction, small as it had been. Donnie James, how the hell had he convinced the appeal court that he was innocent, and that Matthew was mentally unstable and an inveterate liar?

That didn’t matter now, what mattered was how Matthew would react. He hadn’t reacted immediately, but Dominic knew he would; he was justifiably afraid of Donnie James.

Dominic may have hated Aziz Bishara, but the man had never mistreated Matthew, and someone like Aziz would have protected Matthew from someone like Donnie. He also knew that Phillip put too much faith in Tom’s security, and it was only a matter of when not if Matthew would try and escape.

He should try and talk to him, but he proved elusive for the rest of the day, until he shut himself away in his room for the evening.

*******************

The house had fallen silent, the blinking of the alarms on the windows and doors the only sign of life.

The peace was suddenly broken by a figure that crept down the stairs and into the study. The figure went straight to a certain spot and removed several books. The small beep as several buttons were pressed was the only noise…then the sparkle of something very expensive disappearing into a pocket.

The figure slipped out of the study and into the sun room, and stopped by the doors that led to the garden. The figure smiled at the mistake they had made not putting an alarm on these doors, and picking the lock was easy.

The figure opened the door just enough to slip through and then closed it, and moved quickly, knowing exactly where the cameras were and was soon at the tree that stood next to the wall that surrounded the house.

Climbing the tree wasn’t a problem; he’d done it since he was ten. The figure carefully lowered themselves onto the wall, and jumped the last few feet.

The figure stopped, took the item they had stolen out of his pocket, checking to make sure it wasn’t damaged. 

The figure moved off, then stopped a few yards later and looked back.

Matthew let out a long sigh, the house had been his home for ten years, and despite everything, he didn’t hate the Wolstenholme’s. He turned away…he had to forget that life; his life was now one of being on the run …or until the day Donnie caught up with him and then nothing would matter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matthew starts a new life with a new name.........and maybe someone who can heal his heart.

“What do you mean you didn’t think he’d notice that a door didn’t have an alarm? This is Matthew, not your average twenty-one year old.”

“Sorry sir.”

Tom sighed, “Doesn’t matter, he would have gotten out sooner or later.”

Tom sighed again; this was a bloody mess. Yes he was pretty sure the Matthew would have gone anyway, and the news that Donnie James was out would only have meant him going sooner.

He took out his phone.

“Glen…yeah, he’s gone. He stole the diamond and emerald piece…he’ll need cash, and there’s only a handful of fences that handle pieces like that. Okay, call me if you get anything.”

Tom was hoping that Matthew hadn’t already fenced it; he more than likely had, but he had to hope. Matthew was running and more than likely heading out of the country. If he succeeded, that would be it, Matthew knew how to blend in; he would be gone.

“You should have stayed kid. Donnie won’t be your only problem.”

******************

“This is a nice piece kid…how much?”

“Don’t want it all in money, only a couple of grand. I want papers.”

“Okay, this will get you those.”

“How long?”

“It can be done straight away, just let me make a call.”

Mathew stepped off the ferry and headed towards the train station. He had just enough money to get where he needed to go, money wouldn’t be a problem after that.

When Aziz was alive he’d told him that there was an ‘emergency’ fund in one of his banks, and he’d made him learn the name, the fictitious past. He’d made him learn an account number and a password off by heart, then have a retina scan.

“This account is for you, my beautiful Hassan, because life can be cruel and I will not leave you destitute.”

And life had been cruel, in the extreme. 

He looked at the documents…..so, this was who he was going to be from now on…fine. He had no idea how much was in the emergency fund, Aziz had said there was enough to live comfortably. 

He sat back, suddenly tired. He desperately wanted to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes all he saw was Aziz and blood. He sighed and looked out of the window instead.

Several hours later, after he’d found somewhere to change into some decent clothes; the toilets at the train station, he was standing outside the Banque Bonhote. He took a deep breath and walked into the bank.

“Would you step up to the camera sir?” 

Matthew stepped forward and tried not to blink when the laser flickered across his eye.

A few seconds later the teller said, “Thank you sir, if you’ll come this way.”

The teller led him into an office.

“The manager will be with you shortly.”

After only five minutes the manager appeared, carrying an i-pad.

“Mister Bradley,” the manager said and they shook hands. Then he handed him the i-pad. “If you would like to enter your account number and password, and check the amount is correct.”

Matthew thanked his acting skills as he saw the amount.

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“Good, here are the cards in your name as per your instructions. If you wish to transfer funds to another bank or to any of the other accounts, we can do that here electronically.”

“Thank you,” he managed to say.

“Would you like to open your deposit box as well?”

He nodded, his mind still reeling from the amount of money in the account. He silently followed the manager and sat quietly whilst a strong box was placed in front of him and he was handed a key, then he was left alone.

Inside the box contained the usual stuff… and deeds to several properties. He set them aside, he would choose which one he would live in after he’d finished with the box.

There was a small jewellery case with a letter attached. He opened the letter, started to read it but had to put it away. It was something he would read in the privacy of whatever home he chose.

He placed the jewellery case and several other items in the bag provided by the bank. He then chose one of the properties…yes, he would like to live there. He then re-locked the box and then opened the door.

************

“You think he’s already left the country?” Chris said.

“Matthew’s smart, he knows that distance is the best defence, but he doesn’t know that Donnie can’t leave the country. He may be out, but he’s still waiting for the legal system to catch up, so no passport or travel outside of the UK. He probably used the necklace to pay for forged paperwork. You know it won’t be long before they know he’s gone,” Tom said.

“So, they can’t touch him, as long as he stays away from the States,” Chris said.

“Chris, I’m not talking about them, there are others that want him.”

Chris paled.

“Then there’s Dematrov. I should imagine Bishara paid a lot for Matthew, and you can be sure Dematrov knows Bishara is dead. If he finds out that Matthew is out there.”

“He’ll want to sell him again….Jesus. We have to find him Tom, I’m not losing him again.”

************

Matthew stepped into the club, the steady thrum of the bass already making his blood heat. If he was going to make Berlin his new home, then he should get to know it, and Cookies seemed to be a place he would like.

He could feel eyes on him as soon as he entered…good luck with getting his attention. He wasn’t here to dance…not tonight, and he wasn’t looking for company; doubted he ever would.

He sat at the bar, watching the dancers, but with little interest. There was a time when he would have been right in the middle…when Stevie was still clear-headed enough, letting the beat take him.

He looked to his right suddenly when he felt like someone was watching him, and someone was. A young man that looked no older than himself was staring right at him…but it wasn’t that that held his attention; it was the fact that he looked so much like Stevie.

The young man moved and sat next to him, and Matthew didn’t give off any ‘leave me alone vibes.’

“Buy you another drink?” the young man said.

Matthew looked at his glass, then at the young man, “Depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether you tell me your name and whether I think you’re telling me the truth?”

The young man laughed, “My name is Keifer.”

Matthew looked at the young man, his eyes really were a startling shade of green, just like Stevie’s, and he could see nothing but honesty in those eyes.

“Matthew and yes you can buy me another drink.”


	4. Chapter 4

Has Matthew found an ally and a friend...............

 

“Before you get any ideas, buying me a drink is not going to get me into your bed or you into mine.”

“Wasn’t expecting it too,” Kiefer replied.

Matthew raised a disbelieving eyebrow. He wasn’t use to men not wanting him just for sex; so he didn’t know how to react.

“How about we find a nice café and just talk…would that be okay?”

Matthew still wasn’t sure, but why the hell not? He doesn’t know where I live, and if he found he didn’t like Kiefer or got any untrustworthy vibes he was certain he could easily loose him and never see him again.

It was refreshing to get out of the over-hot nightclub, the cool air biting at his skin.

Kiefer led him to a small café with only a few tables, saying that they made the best hot chocolate this side of Berlin. He ordered two and they sat at a table by the window.

Matthew sighed and looked out….memories of a time looking out of another window…a time when he had never heard of Donnie James…a time when he hadn’t met Aziz and then had his world ripped apart. A time when his secrets were still secrets, and his silent world was a peaceful a so much less complicated one...a time before he’d met Dominic.

Dominic, why did he come to his mind?

“You seem lost in thought,” Kiefer’s voice brought him back to the present.

“Oh just….it doesn’t matter.”

“Matthew, I need to be honest with you.”

Matthew tensed, sensing trickery, and prepared himself for flight.

“I know who you are.”

Matthew stood abruptly.

“No, please, let me explain, “Kiefer said.

“I’m leaving, don’t even think about following me or I will hurt you.”

He walked out of the cafe, not bothering to look back.

“Stupid, shouldn’t trust anyone,” he muttered as he strode away.

He heard hurried footsteps behind him, then Kiefer’s voice.

“Matthew, please let me explain.”

He continued walking until he felt a hand on his arm. He whirled round and snarled, “Let go of my arm or I can and will break it.”

“Matthew…just let me explain…please.”

“Why should I?” he replied.

“Because my sister was killed by someone like Donnie James.”

Matthew blinked, he wasn’t expecting that, and it made him hesitate.

“Explain?”

“Because of my sister, his trial caught my attention. I followed it and I saw you on a news website. Then you disappeared and I thought something bad had happened to you, but he was in jail. But he’s free and you’re running, aren’t you? I just want to help.”

Matthew looked once more into Kiefer’s eyes and saw no dishonesty.

He sighed then said, “Tell me about your sister.”

A few hours later he returned to his home after finding himself arranging to meet Kiefer tomorrow, He’d said that he needed to blend in more, that his clothes although very nice, was not what your average twenty-one year old in this part of Berlin was wearing, and tomorrow he would take him shopping…and that he should definitely dye his hair.

He smiled at that….was Keifer turning into a friend. He found himself hoping that he was, because no matter how much he denied it…he was lonely.

************************

“You think he’s already out of the country?” Phillip Wolstenholme said.

“Looks like it,” Tom said. “The stones from the necklace have turned up on the black market. I found the fence who put them out there, he brought them of someone matching Matthew’s description. He said he wanted to buy papers with it, he could be anywhere now.”

“That’s unacceptable.”

“I’ve put the word out and a description of Matthew, and with the reward you’re offering, someone will spot him. Problem is, Donnie James has more money and connection that you or I. He won’t think twice about paying someone to snatch him and bring him back here

“Do you think he wants my son dead?”

Tom shifted in his seat.

“Sir, and don’t take this the wrong way, but it would be better for Matthew if he did.”

Phillip Wolstenholme frowned at that, “And what do mean by that?”

***********************

The man jumped when the door was slammed open, “Hey, watch the…”

He stopped when he saw who had entered.

“Mister James….how can I help?”

One of the men with Donnie moved forward and held up a photo.

“I believe you brought an item of this young man,” Donnie James said.

The man knew better than to lie; he needed his limbs.

“Yeah, about a week ago, he wanted papers.”

What kind of papers?”

“Passport…false ID, the usual.”

“What name did he use?”

“Don’t know, you need to see the bloke that did the work. I have the address, but he isn’t going to talk.”

“That won’t be a problem…thank you for your co-operation.”

The man let out a sigh of relief when Donnie James left.

“Poor kid, I hope you’ve had a nice life.”

***************

Donnie James waited until he was inside his car before relaxing…so, his little bird had migrated

He rubbed at his sore knuckles; it had been a trying and messy time getting the information he had wanted out of the forger. He knew it would mean trouble down the line; he had after all stepped into someone else’s turf.

But that could wait, all he was interested was in getting his little bird back. He’d seriously considered killing him, his little bird had after all sung very loudly. Then he dismissed it, there was still money to be made from him.

When he found him and he would, he would just have to clip his wings.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew is settling into his new life....but his old life hasn't finished with him yet.

Matthew still wondered how Keifer had persuaded him to go sopping, but he was enjoying it. Keifer he found out was studying fashion and knew exactly what shops to go into to, and seemed to know exactly what sort of clothes suited him.

He’d smiled at the looks he he was getting and was amused when he found that more than one receipt had the added extra of phone numbers. Now he was sitting in a chair at a hair salon, deciding what style and colour his should have his hair...oh yes, definitely that style and that colour.

Several hours later he stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom, staring at the person looking back. He ran a hand through his newly styled and dyed hair, applied a a smudge of Kohl, smoothed down the outfit he’d chosen, and stepped out of his penthouse.

His new life was starting to take form; his life as a new Matthew.

****************

“So,” Keifer said as they waited for one of the metro-trams, “Are you just running from Donnie James?”

“That’s not your business.”

“Perhaps, but I think you need someone who can listen without judgement. Someone to share your fears with.”

“Like I said, not your business, just leave it.”

Keifer sighed and they sat in silence until they boarded a tram and joined several of Keifer’s friends.

He enjoyed the evening, but his natural suspicion and distrust didn’t allow him to give anything about himself away. But his interest had been piqued by the idea of going to University and getting that degree in Humanities that he’d always wanted, and he’d agreed to go to an open day on the Monday.

“Matthew,” Keifer said as they stood outside the bar, escaping the heat for a few minutes.

“If you’re going to ask the same question, don’t.”

“Matthew, I see such sadness underneath that aloof attitude.”

“Leave it, Keifer.”

“Matthew, I want to be your friend, my friends want you to their friend. Please, what makes you so sad?”

He turned to Keifer, “Just leave it.”

“Matthew.”

“No..j-just...for fuck’s sake!”

He had to get away and he moved off and headed up the street.

“Matthew!” he heard Keifer call, but he ignored him. 

In his haste to get away his usual caution was absent, so he didn’t notice someone paying close attention to him, then talk on the phone.

“Yes, let me speak to Mister Dematrov...Alexi, guess who I have just seen here in Berlin.”

***********************

“Nothing, no sightings, there’s no activity on any of his accounts,” Glen said.

“Well, he certainly knows how to disappear,” Tom said.

“He’s a smart kid, he’s probably changed his image and name.”

“Keep looking and keep your ears tuned to the rumour mill.”

“One thing Tom, there’s a rumour floating round on the dark web that Dematrov is putting out the word that he’d going to have a high value item up for re-sale soon.”

Tom frowned...that wasn’t good. Had Dematrov found Matthew? God, he hoped not, as he doubted whoever Dematrov sold Matthew to wouldn’t be another Bishara.

“Keep your ears open for that. I want to know what it is and when its going to be offered.”

Tom’s phone rang; it was Chris.

“You need to get to our house now..there’s two lawyers here and they want to speak with Matthew.”

“Lawyers from who?”

“They represent business associates of Bishara...just hurry okay.”

*****************

Chris wasn’t quite sure what to do, he wasn’t his father, who was use to handling lawyers.

“Mister Wolstenholme, where is Hassan or as you call him Matthew?”

“He’s out at the moment,” he lied.

“Strange that, since we were lead to believe that he was under house arrest.”

“He has a hospital appointment.”

“Is he unwell, out clients are concerned about his welfare.”

“Look, I don’t know why you want to talk to Matthew, Bishara is dead.”

“True, Mister Bishara is dead, but there is the matter of his business empire to be resolved.”

“What has this got to do with Matthew?”

“I’m afraid we can only discuss that with Hassan himself.”

“Actually you can discuss with myself and my solicitor.”

Chris sighed as his father walked in and he vacated the chair behind the desk.

“Now, what were you saying about Aziz Bishara’s business empire.”

The two lawyers looked at each other.

“Mister Bishara willed it that Hassan or Matthew was to take over the running of his business and Mister Bishara’s associates are keen to get on with the running of said business, but need the new CEO in attendance to do so.”

“I bet they do,” Mister Wolstenholme said.

“You are stalling, where is Hassan, we wish to talk to him.”

“Ah, yes, that may be a problem.”

“A problem...explain,” one of the lawyers said.

Five minutes later two very angry lawyers left the house. One of then was on the phone.

“No, apparently he’s on the run...I know.. Yes, I am aware of that...I shall arrange a search immediately...we will find him, the business cannot run properly without its CEO.”

*******************

“I’m so glad you agreed to guest lecture this term, Doctor Howard. Your experience and knowledge will be an asset to our Psychology   
Department. The Friel Universitat is happy that you have chosen to come here.”  
Dominic smiled and looked around him; the campus was busy with students and possible students; it was an open day.

He’d chosen to do something other than sit at home and worry about Matthew; it wouldn’t do any good if he did. So he’d taken the offer to lecture at the University in Berlin.

“As you can see, it is our open day and I am certain that having your here will encourage a significant amount of students to sign up.”

Dominic nodded and looked around again, looking at the students and prospective students as they milled around.

It was noisy but he heard someone call out the name ‘Matthew!”

He started for a second...don’t be daft, how many Matthews are there in the world. He still looked in the direction of the voice and just within his vision someone turned at the name.

Dominic froze...no it couldn’t be...the hair was shorter and was a shade of shocking blue, but he would know those cheekbones anywhere.

“Doctor Howard?”

He looked away at his name, but then turned back, but he was gone, lost in the throng of students...but he was here, by some miracle or twist of fate, Matthew was here in Berlin.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for a little while as one, it's Christmas and two I am going into hospital to have kidney stones removed tomorrow.

Matthew hadn’t intended on inviting anyone back to his place; he probably wouldn’t have, if it hadn’t have been Keifer.

He had been out for diner with what he now considered his friends, and Keifer had missed the last metro-tram that went out to his place. He said he would walk, but without thinking Matthew had said that would be stupid, and that he could use one of his spare rooms for the night.

“You live here?” Keifer said, looking round the apartment.

“Yeah.”

“How can you afford the rent?”

“I don’t, it was part of an inheritance.”

“Oh.”

He gave Keifer a quick tour and showed him his room. “Sorry I don’t have anything that’ll fit...that’s the problem with being too skinny.”

“You’re not, you’re perfect.....”

Keifer stopped when he realised what he’d said.

There was an awkward silence...then Matthew said.

“Well, goodnight.”

Keifer nodded and then Matthew retreated to his bedroom, but Keifer’s words still echoed...you’re perfect.

 

****************

 

Dominic had been in a daze since he’d seen him; it was unbelievable. He was still partly convinced that he’d been seeing things; the chances of it happening...well, let’s just say he should buy a lottery ticket.

He was now in the throes of indecision...should he call the Wolstenholmes or Tom, or should he confront him alone? Either way it would a fraught and emotional moment. Could he handle it and Matthew on his own?

He found it hard to sleep, his dreams were full of Matthew...and my god how stunning had he looked with that hair and those clothes. He lay awake, wondering where in the city Matthew was living. He had money, so it was probably somewhere decent, he hoped. Did he have friends? Was the person that had called his name a friend...or more than just a friend? What would he do if he turned up in one of his classes, and what was he studying?

Then more worrying thoughts kept him awake. Chris’s phone call telling him that two lawyers had come looking for Matthew, lawyers that represented Aziz Bishara’s ‘business’ associates. He had no doubt that Donnie James had people looking for him...and then there was Dematrov; Jesus, Matthew, how many people wanted to harm you?

He would have to get to him before any of them...but how?

**********************

_He struggled in the grip of the large man. “I wasn’t nicking anything!” he protested, trying to twist out of the man’s iron grip._

_“Shut up kid, Mister James wants to see you.”_

_He found himself in one of the strip clubs that he usually worked, and found himself standing in front of a well-dressed man; he guessed it was Donnie James._

_He’ heard of him, who hadn’t in the crowd he ran with. The pimps ran the street boys and the pimps answered to Donnie James._

_“And how long were going to hide this one from me?”_

_He looked to his left and there was his pimp, looking the worse for wear._

_“Eyes on me, Matthew,” Donnie James said...great, he knew his name._

_“Aren’t you a pretty one and you’re working the streets. What a waste....but not any more. You’ll be working directly for me from now on. Everyone else out.”_

_He watched as they were left alone and then watched Donnie James studying him intensely._

_“Yes, you really are a pretty one.”_

_He realised he’d gone from one level of hell to a much deeper one, when he’d tried to back away and the first blow landed._

 

********************

Matthew couldn’t sleep after that memory resurfaced, and he found himself standing on the balcony, looking out at the night-scape. He barely reacted when the door opened.

“Matthew?”

Keifer joined him and leant on the railing.

“You couldn’t sleep either?”

He shook his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For what I said earlier. I shouldn’t have.”

“S’okay.”

“It’s just...well....oh, this sounded so much easier in my head.”

He turned to look at Keifer.

“When I saw you in Cookies that night, I thought you were beautiful.”

“Yet you didn’t say that.”

“Oh, I wanted to. I wanted to take you home and touch that beautiful skin.”

“So, why didn’t you?”

“Because I also saw so much sadness.”

Keifer suddenly reached out and put a hand on his face, and Matthew found himself leaning into it; suddenly feeling starved of affection.

“So beautiful, yet so sad,” Keifer said softly.

Green eyes looked into startling blue ones, the only sound was of distant traffic.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since I saw you in that club....wanted to hold you and take away that sadness. I wanted...no, want to make you whole. But that is not to be, even if my heart is heavy because of it.”

Matthew once again searched those green eyes, looking for the slightest piece on insincerity, then leant forward and gently kissed Keifer on the lips.

“Keifer,” he said softly. “ I can’t...not yet. I lost someone I loved not long ago... I....”

Keifer smiled, “I understand, the heart cannot heal in an instant. But I am here for you, for whatever you need, even if it just to talk.”

Matthew returned the smile, let out a long breath, then said, “His name was Aziz.............”


	7. Chapter 7

Keifer was on the verge of going home when he’d spotted the ebony haired young man sitting at the bar. Even from this distance he was struck by his beauty and delicate frame. He started when he saw the young man staring right back at him...caught.

Normally he would just disappear to avoid embarrassment...but not this time. As he waded through the crowd, the features of the young man became clearer...there was something familiar about him.

When the first words out of the young man’s mouth told him that he wasn’t interested in casual sex, Keifer was gone....what attitude.

Once again something at the back of his mind niggled him...why did he look familiar? When he’d said his name was Matthew, it happened again.

But it was only as they were walking towards a café that it came to him...he knew who he was.

His intention had been only to help and be a friend, but he found himself attracted to Matthew...not because of who he was, but because he could see the gentle soul beneath the prickly and guarded exterior.

He’d been in the spare bed for a little while when he heard movement. He couldn’t sleep so he got up and he found Matthew on the balcony, looking out at the city, and once again he was struck by Matthew’s beauty.

He decided to take a chance and declare his feelings for Matthew. He’d expected an angry rebuttal, but he got a chaste kiss on the lips and Matthew telling him about the man he’d loved and his life. Keifer decided that there may never be anything between them, but he would do everything he could to protect Matthew.

******************************

Matthew had shocked himself when he’d kissed Keifer, albeit in a non-sexual way. More so when he’d started telling him about Aziz and then his life before that. He was also surprised that Keifer, although shocked wasn’t disgusted.....outraged yes but never disgusted.

“You don’t think I’m cheap or deserved it?”

“God no...I think you are strong and a survivor. I don’t think most people would have survived even a small part of that.”

“Keifer, not many outside of my family know all of this. Can I trust you not to repeat any of this to anyone...not one word.”

Keifer looked offended, but he had to know, he’d just poured out his life story to the student.

“Matthew, I swear it will go no further, not unless you want it to. But how can you ever feel safe?”

He sighed, “I did, while Aziz was alive. He protected me, but now......”

He twitched when Keifer put a hand on his face.

“Then let me and your new friends protect you.”

“No.”

“They do not need to know... I shall tell them you are escaping an abusive situation, just in case any stranger asks about you.”

Matthew sighed....more lies but nodded.

*******************

Dominic shouldn’t be nervous, but he was, as he walked along the corridors of the University...because somewhere on the campus Matthew would be walking the same corridors....he hoped he wouldn’t see Matthew at all; it would give him time to think on how he would deal with this.

His first three classes were for students nearing graduation, then he was asked if he would cover a first year class for another tutor.

Sociology wasn’t really his field, but looking at the lesson notes, he was sure he could wing it. He didn’t take much notice of the students as they arrived, just the noise as they found and settled in their seats.

“Okay, your normal tutor is ill....” he started to say as he turned to look at the class, and immediately his eyes were drawn to a shock of electric blue and the owner of the bright shade...Matthew, and Matthew was staring right back at him.

He cleared his throat and continued the class, but his eyes kept coming back to Matthew, who looked like he would run as soon as the class was finished. He could almost hear the tick of the clock and he was thankful that the last ten minutes were allocated to working in pairs, and he noticed Matthew was paired with a girl with pink hair.

He looked at the clock...time was up, but before he could do anything, Matthew was up and gone, but the girl with the pink hair was still there.

He quickly approached her.

“Excuse me, the student you were paired with?”

“Matthew.”

“I noticed he wasn’t taking any notes.”

“Yeah, that’s Matthew, remembers everything.”

“Well, according to my notes, he should have been taking notes. He can borrow the lesson notes, but he’s gone.”

“I could give it to his friend Keifer to give to him.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Hang on, Keifer has a show tonight. I can ring Keifer to get Matthew’s address, if you want me to?”

Dominic nodded....he wasn’t going to miss the chance.

The girl spoke on her phone in German, then scribbled something on her pad and handed it to Dominic.

“Thank you,” he said, clutching the piece of paper like it was gold...now came the hard part.

************************

Matthew had all but ran out of the class. He’d been tempted to run before class ended, but he didn’t want to draw unwanted attention. He’d been shocked to see Dominic....why did bad luck always follow him?

Was he cursed, now he would have to move. But where? He wouldn’t even have time to say goodbye to friends he’d only just made.

But first he needed to sleep, he’d been running on his nerves since his class.. He’d just showered when the buzzer went...it was probably Keifer.

“Just a minute Keifer,” he called as he pulled on a pair of skinny jeans.

“You know...” he started to say as he opened the door, but he cut himself off...it wasn’t Keifer.

“What do you want?” he said, his voice laced with annoyance.

“Matthew, I just want talk.”

“No,” he said and started to close the door, but Dominic stepped forward and pushed his way in.

“We are going to talk.”

“I said no and get out before I call the security that shouldn't have let you in.”

“No.”

“Fine,” he snarled and turned to go for the intercom. He felt Dominic’s hand close over his bare arm and pull him away....he blinked when he felt a shock of desire go through him...that wasn't going to happen.

“Let go,” he hissed and tried to pull away, fixing his eyes on Dominic’s.

He drew in a sharp breath when he saw that Dominic’s pupils were dilated, and he couldn’t ignore what his body was telling him and lunged at Dominic.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but there's a lot that's going to happen in the next chapter.... and sorry for the ending.

Dominic stood outside of what had turned out to be the penthouse. It must have belonged to Bishara, and now it belonged to Matthew. It took him several minutes to gather the courage to press the buzzer.

When he heard Matthew’s voice, his stomach fluttered...he’d missed that voice.

He wasn’t surprised at Matthew's reaction or the venom laced words. He was surprised at his own reaction, as he found himself pushing his way in, demanding that they talk. Then his body registered that Matthew was only wearing a pair of black skinny jeans...and an angry Matthew, in a pair of clingy jeans, with all that alabaster skin on show was nigh on irresistible.

So when Matthew attacked his mouth, he met it with equal ferocity. With a growl he pinned Matthew against the wall, and hissed when he felt nails dig into his back. After that it was a blur of limbs and sweat and sex, and falling into an exhausted sleep.

When he woke again, the wave of guilt and disgust at himself finally hit. He sat up and found that Matthew was already up, his discarded clothes in his hands.

He caught them when Matthew threw them at him.

“Matthew...I..”

“You have ten minutes to get dressed and leave.”

“Matthew, please....let’s talk.”

Matthew looked at his watch, “Nine minutes.”

He dressed quickly, acutely aware that Matthew's eyes never left him.

“Matthew, don’t do this.”

“Five minutes, then you’ll be thrown out.”

“Let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain....it was a mistake...just go.”

“Matthew.”

Matthew scowled and reached for the phone by the bed.

Dominic put his hands up, “Okay, I’m going, but I know where you live now.”

He flinched under the icy glare he received in return.

“I’ll have to tell the others.”

“Do whatever you want...I won’t be here.”

“Matthew, you can’t keep running.”

“I can and I will....get out.”

As he walked out of the door, he said, “You know I’ll always be there for you..I’ll always love, if you ever need me.”

Matthew said nothing just watched him until the lift doors shut.

“Stupid, stupid......you royally fucked that up,” he said to himself as he began walking back to his own apartment, instead of taking a taxi. But still there was a part of him that had revelled in the feel of the ‘wildcat’ that Matthew became in bed. The part of him that was guilt-ridden stomped on that idea; it was his lust that had now alienated Matthew even further and had no doubt lost him once more, as Matthew was about to run again.

He didn’t take much notice of the vehicle that went past, not until he was further along the road, and he stopped dead in his tracks...no...no, how could that be. His brain suddenly got into gear and told him that he knew that number plate and he knew that vehicle.....that wasn’t possible...he was.

He was frozen to the spot, unsure of what to do...call the police or...to hell with that he decided and began running, even thought something told him was going to be too late.

He saw that vehicle outside the apartments and he saw that the main door was open. He barely saw the unconscious form of the security person and he shunned the lift and sprinted up the stairs. As he wrenched the fire door open he heard muffled but raised voices.

He raced for the now open front door of the penthouse...but got no further as he felt pain and then nothing.

************************

Matthew had woken when he felt a twinge in more than one part of his body...then what happened last night came flooding back.

He almost leapt out off bed and quickly put on some clothes and gathered up the scattered clothing that belonged to the other person in the bed, who was starting to stir.

You stupid idiot....how could you let certain parts of your anatomy take control and leave your senses behind....this was a huge mistake; he felt like he’d betrayed the memory of Aziz, letting someone else be intimate with him.

He guilt was washed away by anger when Dominic finally woke and he gave him ten minutes to get out, and he closed his ears to what Dominic was saying. As soon as he knew that Dominic was gone, he would pack the things that he had brought with him and leave the country, already knowing where he would go next.

He twisted the ring that he wore on his left finger.

“I’m sorry...I was weak,” he whispered. “Forgive me.”

He returned to the bedroom and began packing what he thought he should take with, and to think about whether he should leave a message for Keifer.

The buzzer going again distracted him and his temper flared; if that was Howard.

“I said...” he began to say, but trailed off when he saw Keifer...but something didn’t feel right.

“Keifer?”

Then someone else came into view and he took and involuntary step backwards....no...please no.

The person pushed Keifer out of the way and smiled and he knew what that smile meant.

“Hello little bird.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description of rape...but not graphic. Just a warning so as not to offend.

Matthew recoiled at those three words and from the man that had spoken them.

“D-donnie,” he stammered.

He backed up until he hit the wall and tried not to whimper when Donnie closed in, placing his hands on either side off him, trapping him.

“You, my little songbird, sang far too loudly and for the wrong people.”

He wanted to turn his face away, but fear had paralysed him.

“I really should just kill you, but it would be a waste.”

Matthew couldn’t stop the whimper as Donnie grabbed his hair.

“You’ve cut it, less to grab onto...still.”

Using that hold he pulled Matthew away from the wall and began dragging him further into the penthouse. He suddenly stopped when one of his men dragged someone in.

“Well, well, your ex-boyfriend.”

Matthew didn’t react, he knew that any reaction would be punished.

“Put him in one of the bedrooms with blondie and keep them there. Myself and my little bird have some catching up to do.”

He started pulling Matthew again, until he found a bedroom. Matthew knew what was coming; pain was coming.

The first blow put him on the floor, before he was dragged up, the blood from his now damaged mouth staining the carpet. He was thrown onto the bed and his jeans were ripped away. He was flipped on his stomach, and the searing pain of penetration without any pretence of being anything but rape ripped through him.

“I want you to sing for me, little bird,” Donnie snarled in his ear before biting into his shoulder; Matthew didn’t sing...he screamed.

**********************

“Sir?”

Dominic opened his eyes and was almost blinded by the light that was shining into them. He tried to move it away, wondering where the hell he was...then it came rushing back.

“Matthew!” he yelled and tried to get up.

“Sir, please stay still,” a voice said and a hand pushed him firmly back.

“No, where’s Matthew?”

“Sir, I need to take your blood pressure.”

“Please, he was here. Donnie James was here.....oh god, he’ll kill him.”

“Sir, you will have to discuss that with the police. We need to get you to hospital, you need stitches and could have concussion.”

The next hours were a blur of doctors and painkillers, and when he woke from a pain-killer induced sleep, there was a familiar face sitting next to his bed.

“Chris, what are you doing here?”

A chill suddenly went through him, “Please...don’t say he’s...”

Chris shook his head, “I don’t know, he’s missing. The police said there was a lot of blood in one of the bedrooms. What happened?”

Dom frowned; he didn’t know, “ I don’t know, but I know who spilt it. It was Donnie James.”

Chris sighed, “ We feared that, somehow he got his paperwork fast-tracked. Tom says he must have left as soon as the ink was dry. He also thinks he may be working with Alexi Dematrov.”

“How...why?”

“Tom thinks one of Dematrov’s men must have spotted him. Dom, why didn’t you tell us you found him?”

Dominic sighed, “Because I was an idiot. I thought if I could talk to him in person, on his own, I could persuade him to come back. But I fucked it up, Chris...really fucked it up.”

“Doesn’t matter, all that matters is finding Donnie James before he can do god know what with him.”

“Chris, what if he’s already, what if Donnie has?”

“No, Donnie James may be a bastard, but he’s a smart bastard, and a greedy one.”

Dominic let out a long breath before speaking, “He’ll get Dematrov to re-sell him. If that happens Matt will disappear for good.”

Chris’s phone beeped and he read the message.

“That was Tom, he says Dematrov has set up an auction, and it’s Matt his selling. He says it’s not on line...Christ, he’s having a actual auction in three days time. He’s sent out an open invitation to those that have enough money to come and bid.”

“We have to go,” Dominic said.

“It’s being arranged, but you have to stay here.”

“No, I want to help.”

“Dom, you had a serious concussion and way too many stitches. You stay and let Tom and those that know about these things handle it.”

Dominic lay back, feeling very frustrated and angry. Matthew was out there, having had god knows what done to him by Donnie James, and he was all alone.

*******************************

Keifer didn’t think he could hate someone as much as he hated the person that had killed his sister. But he found he could when he heard the muffled screams coming from the other bedroom. He was in another room with an unconscious man, who he recognised as Doctor Howard, a lecturer from the University....how did he know Matthew?

Now he was in the back of a van, trying to calm and protect the person who had made those screams from the movement of the van.

He held the trembling Matthew, not worrying about the blood that had stained his clothes.

“It will be okay, he won’t touch you again,” he whispered, then yelled, “You hear me you bastard, I’ll kill you if you touch him again!” 

He knew it was an empty threat, but it made him feel better.

“K-keifer...I’m sorry,” Matthew said, his voice sounding very far away.

“What for?”

“Getting y-you dragged into t-this.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“N-no, he might k-kill you.”

He tightened his hold on Matthew when he tried to shift away.

“No, you will only start the bleeding again. It is I that should be apologising to you. I should have had more courage and stood up to him.”

“D-don’t be, Donnie is v-very good at g-getting what he w-wants. What did he threaten to do?”

Keifer closed his eyes for a second, then said, “He threatened my family and my friends.”

Matthew shifted again, turning in his arms so that Keifer could see his bruised and bloody face.

“Then y-you did the right t-thing. I’m n-not w-worth losing p-people you l-love.”

Matthew fell back into unconsciousness and Keifer was glad that he did; he would at least be free of pain for a while.

“Of course you are worth it. Ich liebe dich Matthew, auch wenn du mich nicht zurück liebst.”

******************************  
Translation

Ich liebe dich Matthew, auch wenn du mich nicht zurück liebst- I love you Matthew, even if you don’t love me back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get worse...so much worse....

Alexi Dematrov looked at the pair as they were dragged into his office. He maybe a man of violence and a seller of sex, but he never damaged or touched the merchandise. He’d made a lot of money selling Matthew the first time, and to get another chance to sell this very expensive morsel was extraordinary. 

Now, there was the added bonus of the blond, “Get his hair dyed black again,” he snapped and Matthew was dragged away. He studied the blond in front of him....yes, this could work, the contrast between Matthew’s dark hair, blue eyes and pale skin and the blond hair, green eyes and tanned skin of the other, would make even more money, if he sold them as a pair; there were clients that would pay for such a dazzling contrast.

“Matthew needs a doctor,” the blond had shouted. So, he had the same attitude as Matthew, and the same mouthiness; another good selling point, something for their buyer to break. Speaking of which the buyers...well their representatives would be arriving soon. He began shouting orders and making sure that everything was properly planned for tonight’s auction.

*******************  
“Matthew?” Keifer said, trying to get Matthew's attention.

He’d been woken by one of Donnie James’ thugs and Matthew pulled from unconciousness, before they had been dragged into what looked like a warehouse. He heard lots of Eastern European accents and Russian being spoken. Matthew had been dragged away from him, and he’d received a punch for his protest.

Matthew had been brought back a couple of hours later, and had been almost catatonic since.

“Matthew?” he said again. He sighed as all he received for his efforts was Matthew just staring into space. He’d somehow begged a bottle of water and had ripped up his t-shirt and was trying to clean as much of the dried blood from Matthew’s face as he could.

“Sorry if this hurts,” he said, even though he got no reaction, he was sure it must be painful. The sounds that had come from that bedroom had sounded brutal and he was relieved when the screaming had stopped, but also afraid that something fatal had happened, and when he saw the state of Matthew, the blood, he wished that it had, even though he hated himself for thinking it

What had made it worse was that Donnie James had leant down and said to the semi-concious Matthew.

“Shame you’re worth so much, we could have had so much fun.”

He frowned when he saw that someone had dyed Matthew’s hair...why? Then he remembered Donnie James’ words, and he shuddered...they were to be sold like the poor souls that he’d read about and researched after his sister had been killed. For himself this was terrifying, but how must it feel for Matthew, knowing that he’d already been through this hell before.

He wrapped his arms around his still catatonic friend and said, “Whatever happens, don’t let these monsters drag you down with them. You survived once, I know you can survive again.”

He felt the deep breath that Matthew took, but had to strain to hear his voice.

“Doesn’t matter about me, but you.”

“Matthew, sometimes you can’t escape what fate or the gods throw at you. I say it’s my fate to be here, to be with you.”

“No,” came the whispered reply, but his next words were suddenly drowned in noise.....the noise of men shouting and gunfire.

Keifer tightened his hold on Matthew when he felt him flinch...more men of violence. He vaguely heard the door being locked and the sound of something being dragged...they were trying to hide them, no doubt they didn’t want anyone to take what they thought they owned.

***********************

Dematrov wasn’t the kind of man to show fear, and he wasn’t about to start now. He knew who these people were, he’d been raided by these people before, and he knew exactly who they were looking for. Well, he thought he knew who he was dealing with, until two men of Arabic descent in smart suits appeared...these were not FBI or Human Trafficking Officers..they were something altogether different.

“Mister Dematrov, you have someone that does not belong to you.”

“Gentlemen, I’m sure I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m just an businessman.”

One of the men snapped his fingers and Dematrov hid his surprise when Donnie James was pushed in, and in far worse a state than Matthew had been.

“Mister Dematrov, if you wish to keep your business and your health, I suggest that you hand over said person.”

Dematrov sighed, “ This said person is a very valuable item, I have many interested parties.”

One of the men gave him a look of disdain.

“You will be compensated, if said person wishes it. Now, where is he?”

***********************

Matthew had given up trying to fight what was going to happen to him...why bother. What Donnie James had done to him had broken him; he now knew that his time with Aziz had been a small piece of paradise that was now no more than a fantasy. Even the fleeting thought that maybe he could make it on his own had gone now, and he hadn’t even given a thought to what life would be like if he’d stayed in the UK.

His one regret was that Keifer, who had been nothing but kind to him was now caught up in the sordid little world that it seemed was his fate to be dragged back to.

Then the gunfire had startled him out of the downward spiral he had taken, and he knew that there was the possibility that they could die here...well, he would die. He would make sure that Keifer somehow got away from this.

The gunfire ended and now there were just raised voices, and he blinked in surprise; some of those voices were Arabic..could it be?

Both himself and Keifer jumped when the door flew open, the sound of wood splintering replacing the voices. Then he heard a voice that he did recognise.

“Hassan...Allah, he will pay for this.”

He was gently helped to his feet and he finally saw a face he recognised; it was one of Aziz’s lieutenants.

“Asafa...how?” he managed to say.

“Do not strain yourself, sir, come, let’s get you and your friend to safety.”

He felt strong hands help him and he looked over to see Keifer being treated with the same respect. They were passing what looked like an office and he stopped.

“Wait,” he said.

“Sir?”

“There’s something that needs doing...take Keifer and make sure that he gets back to Berlin safely.”

“Matthew, what is going on?” Keifer asked.

“Go home, Keifer. Forget about me and live your life.”

He watched as Keifer was carefully led away. He took a deep breath; it was time to become what Aziz wanted him to become, what it seemed he was destined to become.

“Let go of me, Asafa,” he said and he walked into the office, his back straight, even though it hurt him. He felt his temper flare as he saw the man that was being held by two other men.

“Hello Donnie,” he said. “ I see you’ve met Aziz’s...no my personal army. Oh, that’s right, you thought I was just his plaything.....wrong. I was his lover, his confidant.....his heir.” 

He leant forward and whispered in Donnie’s ear, “Will you sing for the Devil like I sang for you.”

He looked over at Dematrov and said, “Look and learn Alexi, learn what happens when you leave a victim alive, take this lesson to hell.”

He said two words in Arabic, then grabbing Asafa’s arm for support, turned and walked out of the door and didn’t even flinch when the shots rang out.

“Take me home. I have a company to run.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew is back into a dark place and has every intention of staying...but will he....?

“Someone went through here with purpose,” Tom said, taking in the spent bullets and bodies. His radio beeped and a few moments later he was looking at the bodies of Alexi Dematrov and Donnie James.

“They were executed, one shot to the head,” one of the armed agents said.

“Not bothered about them, have they found Matthew yet?”

An hour later the whole building had been searched, but there was no sign of Matthew. They had found the hidden room, but all it yielded was a torn and bloodied t-shirt; which Tom had no doubt was Matthew’s blood.

“You do realise with Dematrov and James dead, there’s going to be turf war.”

“Yeah, and whoever has Matthew will be right in the middle of it.”

“So, what next?”

“Next, next I have to tell a family that their son is missing again.”

**********************

Matthew tried not to wince as the doctor cleaned the split in his lip. He hadn’t flinched when he heard the shots that ended two of his tormentor. It had felt good to take his revenge. But he wasn't finished, there were others that had to pay, and now he had the power and the wealth to achieve it.

As he been driven away from that warehouse he had come to the realisation that he would never escape the world that he’d been part of...so be it. Aziz had shown him what he really was and what he was and could be capable of. The world that the Wolstenholme’s and Dominic had offered him would never be for him; this was his place and he was going to rule it.

There was a knock at the door and one of his men opened it and then nodded at the person that entered.

“You wanted to see me sir?”

“Please, it’s Hassan. You never called me sir, so don’t start now. You were Aziz’s second in command Asafa, and now you will be mine. I will need your advice in the coming days.”

He let out a hiss when the doctor pushed the skin together and applied the last steri-strip to the cut below his right eye.

“Try not to get these wet,” he said and then handed him two boxes. “Antibiotics, twice a day with food and pain killers.”

He waved the doctor away, “Asafa,” he said, trying not to feel the stitches or the pain that was now making itself known.

“Yes Hassan.”

“With Dematrov and James gone, their territories are open for a takeover. I want them.”

“Yes Hassan, I will see to it. Hassan, the board wish to meet with you.”

He scowled, “No doubt they want to make sure that they still have a position on the board. Tell them there will be a meeting in the London office on Friday.”

“London, why London?”

“Because there is blood to be avenged.”

“Hassan, those people are well protected.”

His temper flared, “There is blood to be avenged. He was murdered in front of me and died in my arms! I will have blood!”

In that moment Asafa saw not a scared young man...not even the successor that Aziz had told him he would be; he saw something else, and it made the decision that he had been toying with so much easier. What he was going to do next wasn’t done out of ambition or greed, it was going to be done to save a soul.

*********************

Dominic had been like the Wolstenholmes both disappointed and worried about what had happened. Disappointed that Matthew wasn’t going to be returned and worried as to whether he was in a worse or better situation.

According to what Tom had told him, whoever had taken apart Dematrov’s operation had also killed Dematrov and to Dominic’s secret delight one Donnie James. He was certain he wasn’t going to lose any sleep over either of those individuals.,but Matthew wasn’t back where he would be safe, and he needed to sort out the emotional mess that had been their encounter back in Berlin.

His sensible side told him that it had been a mistake to give into his baser instincts, but there was something about Matthew that made all of his common sense melt away. Matthew was addictive, and he could see why there were others that had wanted to possess him; he could even understand how Aziz Bishara had fallen under his spell.

He still wouldn’t acknowledge that there may have been something between Matthew and Bishara. He still chose to believe that Matthew had been and probably still was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome; how else could you explain someone like Matthew loving someone like Bishara? 

Oh, he wasn’t expecting Matthew to love him, no doubt that fire had probably burnt out, although it had burnt pretty hot in that bed. No, he would be content to have Matthew back and getting the help that he so obviously needed.

He was about to step inside his house, looking forward to his Friday off when a hand was placed on his shoulder , and a voice with an Arabic inflection said.

“Mister Howard, someone wishes to talk with you.”  
He didn’t have much choice and he let the person, who was twice his size and if he wasn’t mistaken had been carrying a weapon lead him to a car. He stepped into the Mercedes and another man of the same descent was sitting in the back.

“My apologies for the lateness and the way that this is being handle, but I doubt I would have gotten near you otherwise. My name is Asafa and I am how would you say it, Hassan’s second-in-command.”

Dominic frowned...Hassan....? Did he mean Matthew.

“You know him as Matthew,” the man said.

“Do you know where he is? Is he okay?”

“He is under my protection, and he is okay, physically.”

“What do you mean physically, there was all that blood.”

“I mean apart from the damage done when Donnie James raped him. A crime for which he has already paid.”

Dominic knew what that meant.

“I know he’s dead.”

“Yes, I personally put a bullet into his brain. But Dominic, may I call you Dominic, it was done on the orders of Hassan.”

Dominic took a few moments to process that, “He ordered you to murder someone...why would he?”

Asafa put a hand up, “You are going to say that it is not the Matthew you know. Dominic, he is not the Matthew you knew, he is not the Hassan that I know either. The Hassan that I knew was always kind and a gentle soul...yes he could do things that were less innocent, as we all can at times. But I love him like a brother and would never see any harm come to him. Something changed in him when Aziz was killed and it was not for the good. He has become cold and hard of heart, he has become like Aziz.”

Dominic wasn’t sure where this was leading, “Why do you care? Isn’t that what you and others like you want?”

“I am a man of violence, Dominic. I have been brought up with it, it is the world that I inhabit, and one day will no doubt come to a violent end. But Hassan...your Matthew is not, and I do not wish to see him dragged further into this world. I do not want his life to be ended by a bullet or a blade across his throat. But enough said, tell Thomas Kirk to be at this address tomorrow morning.... 4am sharp...tell him it will be his and your only chance to get Matthew back.”

Dominic was confused but nodded and as he stepped out of the car he said, “ You’re risking your life, aren’t you?”

“ I am trusting Thomas Kirk to do his job. There will be much violence as a result, but I will ensure that no-one will come after Hassan.”

He could only watch as the car sped away...this was like being in the middle of some film. He shook himself mentally, then phoned Tom.

******************

Matthew walked down the steps of the private jet. He already knew what he was going to say to the ‘board of directors’ tomorrow. He had also sent Asafa ahead, with instructions to set in motion the takeover of Donnie James’ businesses. He also knew that he would be starting his personal quest for vengeance and that made him happy.

“Asfa,” he said, smiling when he saw his second-in-command.

He didn’t expect the cloth across his mouth and the last thing he heard was Asafa.

“Forgive me Hassan.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are not good...........

“Seriously,” Dominic said.

“He’s too good an escape artist to allow him that much freedom.”

“But these are reserved for you most unstable patients.”

“Dom, he’s evasive, manipulative, disruptive, his moods are unpredictable. He was bad enough before Aziz Bishara's death. He stays in the secure unit until he’s evaluated.”

Dominic sighed, “Sorry Morgan, it’s just that he’d been through enough already.”

“I know, it will be a while before the sedatives wear off, and you look like you could do with some sleep.”

Dominic nodded, getting Matthew to Morgan’s clinic had been way too stressful.

***************************

“Getting a real sense of deja-vu,” Chris said. “Starting to feel like I’m in some kind of kidnap move.”

Dominic nodded.

“So this bloke, the one who spoke to you.”

“Said he was Matthew’s second-in-command, which suggest that he’d already taken over as head of Aziz’s syndicate.”

“So why is he doing this?”

“Said he didn’t want Matthew to end up like Aziz, wanted to save him I guess. But Chris, he said that Matthew ordered him to kill Donnie James and Alexi Dematrov, and that is something I didn’t think he was capable of. He said Matthew didn’t belong in that world, didn’t want him to end up dead.”

Chris ran a hand over his face, “Hard to believe isn’t it, before all of this he wouldn’t have hurt anyone or anything...now he’s, I don’t what he is. I hope Morgan can help him, I just want my brother back.”

They fell silent when they heard a vehicle approaching and a Hummer appeared in a swirl dust. Dominic recognised the man that stepped out once it had halted and then his focus was on the figure being carried by another suited man, who was closely followed by Tom.

“Mister Howard,” the smaller of the men said and handed him a small leather carrier.

“There are sedatives inside, I advise you use them, Hassan will not be happy when he comes round. Mister Howard, can you please tell him that I did this because I did not want him to lose the goodness that I know is underneath. He is a troubled soul and that world is not for him...oh and a word of advice, your friend Thomas, do not let him be alone in a room with Hassan.”

With that the man turned away but stopped the man carrying Matthew and whispered something in Matthew’s ear. Then Matthew was placed in the back of the car that they had arrived in and they were left alone. It was a long drive to Morgan’s and Dominic could only hope that he didn’t need to administer the sedatives.

That hope disappeared before they were even halfway and to say that Matthew wasn’t happy would be an understatement. Dominic had been learning Arabic and Matthew was being insulting and were those death threats being aimed at them like missiles?

Before Aziz’s death Matthew's verbal abuse had been out of anger, but now it felt like there was real hatred, and he was sure he saw an insane glint in Matthew’s eyes. They had to resort to holding him down and sedating him, which earned him a look from Matthew that he never wished to see again.

He’d been unhappy abut sedating him and even more so when Morgan had placed him in one of the secure rooms. He still found hard to believe that the person now sleeping inside that room was the same person that at one time couldn’t even look you in the eye. Now he was thinking that this time, despite his and the family’s hopes, that Matthew may be beyond help.

He tried to sleep but it evaded him, because he felt the need to go and see if Matthew was awake. He needed to know if Matthew was truly beyond help. He thanked Morgan for allowing him a swipe card, and he walked past several rooms, his goal being the room at the end. The light was still on and when he looked in, it looked like Matthew was still out of it, then he saw Matthew twitch.

He pressed the intercom button, “Matthew,” he said, hoping to get a response; he got one.

Matthew sat up and slowly walked over to the door.

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

“Because it’s your name.”

“You know it’s not.”

“I won’t call you that, your name is Matthew”

“And I won’t answer to it...oh and if you see Asafa, tell him he will pay for his betrayal. I don’t take betrayal lightly.”

“Matthew, you won’t be going back.”

“Am I a prisoner then?”

“No, you’re a patient, you need help.”

“Help....you think because I loved and still love Aziz that I need help?”

Dominic had to be very careful now, but he had to see how entrenched the Stockholm Syndrome was.

“How can you love someone who brought you as a sex slave?”

He studied Matthew’s face, he thought he would see anger at the question, but there was a smile on his face.

“He saved me and showed me who I really am.”

“What, showed that you were his partner in crime.....turned you into a murderer.”

“I killed no-one.”

“No, but you ordered two deaths.”

“You mean Donnie James and Alexi Dematrov. It was a better death than they deserved.”

Dominic let out a sad sigh, “Matthew, this isn’t you.”

Matthew leant against the glass and the smile that crossed his face made Dominic’s heart fall.

“Oh but it is. All those years believing I was a victim. Well now I’m no-one’s victim, and if I, no when I get out of here, people will pay.”

Dominic walked away, the last sound he heard was the manic sounding laugh that came through the intercom...there was no Matthew any more, only Hassan.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shortish chapter but it's setting up for a battle of wills between Morgan and Co and Matthew...or is he really now Hassan.......

“Dom, I said no contact with Matthew until he’s been assessed. You’ll just make him worse.”

“Morgan, I can’t do that, you know I can’t. He’s....”

Morgan interrupted him,” He’s not your Matthew any more. At the moment he’s not even Matthew, he’s Hassan, and Hassan is all of Matthew’s worse traits amplified.”

“But Matthew is still in there, he has to be.”

“Maybe, but anyone he’s familiar with he’ll know how to push their buttons. Let me, Kelly and my staff have direct contact with him for now. You’re welcome to watch the sessions. If and I do mean if he responds to the treatment, we can start including you and perhaps Chris. Stockholm Syndrome is a hard bastard to deal with.”

“I know, I’ve read up on it, you have to de-programme him.”

“No Dom, not de-programme, we’re not dealing with a cult here. We have to tear down the world he’s built, we have to show him and convince him that Aziz was not the person he was and I think is still in love with. We’re going to have be harsh, even cruel at times, there will be no room for compassion, not at the start.”

Dominic let out an unhappy sigh, dear lord, how many times could someone have their heart ripped out and torn to shreds. He could understand why Matthew had been drawn to Aziz; he’d been a stable point in what had become a chaotic world. But Bishara's world wasn’t for Matthew and the man who had given them him back had understood that, even if Matthew did not.

Unlike Morgan, he wasn’t so sure that Matthew was just suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, he hadn’t seen how the pair had interacted. He’d seen it the first time they had seen them together, outside Aziz’s London house, the way Aziz touched Matthew and the way Matthew reacted; not with fear, but with affection, and when they had driven past the restaurant, he’d seen Matthew kiss Aziz after admiring a ring on his finger.

Matthew hadn’t been wearing any jewellery when he’d been handed over, it had probably been stolen by Dematrov or James. He had a sudden thought, if he could find that ring, it might be a way to get to Matthew. He would ask Tom, he’d been at the warehouse.

**************************  
Matthew’s head felt fuzzy, he was getting heartily sick of being drugged and waking up to find he was imprisoned. Sure, there were no bars or prison officers, but it was a prison nonetheless. The little visit from Dominic had done nothing to improve his mood, did he really think he was going to be sociable? And he’d called him by that name and now it was stuck in his head.

Then to add insult to his indignity, he dared to say that Aziz never loved him, and he was nothing more than one of his playthings. Well he wasn’t going to rise to that, he knew Aziz had loved him, had saved him, and he told Dominic so.

Aziz had given him purpose, a reason to exist. He had finally found his place in the world, at Aziz's side, using the talent and the skills that he’d acquired in his young life. He’d been happy until his world was ripped apart in a river of blood, which now stained his soul, which would remain until he could wash it away with the blood of those responsible for his death.

After Aziz’s death he’d been lost, not knowing what his life would be. Then he’d returned to his world and he’d run...and that hadn’t ended well. The mistake of sex with Dominic and the brutal rape by Donnie James. It had driven him closer to the edge of insanity....no, it had pushed him over the ledge, and he found he liked it there.

Revenge had tasted sweet when he had ordered the deaths of Dematrov and James, those two shot were the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. But he wasn’t finished, not by a long chalk...there was still blood to be revenged, and for that he needed to get out of this place. He wasn’t sure how he would get out, but get out he would.

Then he would exact his revenge, starting with the one that had held a gun to his head, causing Aziz to be distracted, which lead to his murder...he would start with Tom Kirk.


	14. Chapter 14

_“Hassan, stop playing games,” Aziz said as he wriggled free of his grip once more, but Hassan could see he was enjoying the game, despite the serious face and voice. “ I have been away for a week and I am in no mood.”_

_With a giggle he once again avoided Aziz’s grip. He was deliberately being a tease, knowing it would rile Aziz; as would what he was wearing. He knew he looked good in the skinny jeans and the cut-off t-shirt, that showed his midriff, and was cut low enough to show a glimpse of his collarbones._

_“Oh really, what are you in the mood for?”_

_“You’ll find out when I catch you.”_

_“Then catch me.”_

He woke with a wanton moan dying in his throat....then the realisation that there would no longer be such games, and any pleasure he’d had from the dream turned to sorrow, and in the dark he wept.

*******************

 

Morgan watched the screen and could tell that Matthew was crying. There was no doubt that Matthew had problems, but how entrenched they were, he had yet to discover. He as beginning to think that Matthew may have been suffering from Stockholm Syndrome but it had morphed into a personality disorder; such was the difference in the behaviour of Hassan and the Matthew that Dominic and Matthew's family had told him about.

 

“You are one complicated young man. What is the key to unlocking you?”

 

Matthew had been in the clinic for nearly three weeks and there had been no change. They had to bring in an interpreter as he refused to speak English, and it was a battle to make him do anything. He and his team had eventually decided to bring in someone whose expertise was in personality disorders. Tomorrow was going to be interesting, as the specialist had specified that he needed to see Matthew interact with other people; which meant that Matthew would have to be in the less restricted area.

So he would have to have extra staff and they would have to be on their toes.....because he knew that physically it may be Matthew waking into the room, but was it Matthew or Hassan behinds those eyes?

******************

Dominic sat with Kelly and the specialist, watching as Matthew was escorted in. Matthew looked round the room, seemingly not looking at anyone in particular, but Dominic knew that he was taking in everything and everyone. He’d voiced his opinion that this was a bad idea, but the specialist had insisted.

Matthew was escorted by Morgan to one of the tables, that was already occupied by two other patients. Morgan moved away to talk to one of the nurses and Matthew stood and moved over to table that was empty.

“Definitely has anti-social tendencies,” the specialist said.

Could have told you that Dominic thought as he watched Matthew stand again and make his way over to the serving area. He must have spoken English as the person behind the counter plated up what looked like a fair sized breakfast. But when he got back to his table, another patient was sitting in his seat.

Dominic tensed, given Matthew’s last reaction to someone invading his space, this could dissolve into violence. But to his surprise Matthew just sat at another empty table, it didn’t however allay Dominic’s feeling that something was about to happen.

“ He seems quite calm at the moment, considering the footage I’ve seen. I need to determine if this is one side of what Professor Nicholls believes is a dual personality. Perhaps one of you can interact with him.”

Kelly beckoned for Morgan to come over and asked him. “Risky, but I do have enough staff to cope if he kicks off. But we need to know who’s sitting there, Matthew or Hassan.”

“I’ll do it,” Dominic said.

“You sure, you’re not exactly on his Christmas list.”

“I’m sure, if he’s going to react, then it’ll be towards me.” Dominic stood and walked over to the table and sat down, Matthew not registering his presence.

“Good morning, Matthew,” he said, knowing that if it was Hassan he would get an instant rebuttal.

Matthew looked up then, and he couldn’t be quite sure who was behind those eyes, until he spoke.

“G-good morning, D-dominic.”

Dominic had to stop himself from shouting in joy.....Matthew had woken up as Matthew.

“Been a while, how are you doing?”

Matthew offered him a small smile before replying, “Don’t like this place.”

“I know, but it’s for your sake.”

“Because I’m s-sick in the h-head.”

“You’re not well.” "Did I d-do something b-bad?”

Dominic didn’t know if he should answer that. If Matthew was suffering from a personality disorder, he may not remember certain things.

“Is it because I k-keep running a-away? Cause I can s-stop, then I can go h-home.”

Dominic was about to say something when Matthew’s attention was distracted by someone walking into the room, and in a instant Matthew was gone and Hassan was back. With a hiss that sounded like an angry serpent, he was off his chair and launching himself at the person who had just walked in.

The person was taken by surprise and went down as Matthew....no Hassan crashed into him......then the whole room descended into chaos.


	15. Chapter 15

Tom Kirk didn’t like these places, he’d been inside enough of them, visiting comrades-in-arms, victims of the so called ‘liberation’ of the people of Iraq, that turned into something far more bloody. Sure, he knew these places were a place for healing, but to end up here must feel like the end of the world. It had been bad enough when it was a fellow soldier, but this was Matthew, someone he saw as his little brother.

What that poor kid had been through in his life so far wasn’t something he could comprehend, but he could relate to the trauma. The shrinks said that he was suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder, and he could see it. Matthew was the gentlest, quietest soul, that although he’d never...well rarely spoken, he could convey every emotion with his eyes; whereas Hassan was manipulative, deceitful and prone to violence. He may not be an expert, but he had no doubts that ‘Hassan’ was a direct result of the abuse he’d suffered as a child, and it had taken someone like Aziz Bishara to give ‘him’ the opportunity to come to the fore and then stay.

He was going to see how Matthew was doing, not just for himself, but on behalf of the Wolstenholmes, since the experts seemed to think that it was better if Matthew was kept isolated.

He hadn’t expected to see Matthew sitting at one of the tables with Dominic and definitely wasn’t expecting the attack.....murderous words spat at him in Arabic. 

He went down to the floor, the speed and the surprise of the attack momentarily stunning him. Then his training kicked in as Matthew...no Hassan went for his throat, the intention to kill him quite clear. He didn’t want to hurt the kid, but hurt him he would have to; rage was giving him strength. He managed to force Matthew away from him and stared into his eyes, they were hot with rage, and there was definitely a taint of insanity.

“Sorry, Matthew,” he said and twisted until he had him in a choke hold. He held his hold tightly, even as he felt hands claw at any exposed skin, but it was like holding an angry rattlesnake. If he let go, he was certain he would be bitten.

He exerted more pressure, trying not to hear the chaos that was going on around him, and trying not to hear Matthew struggling for breath.

“Come on...give, for fuck’s sake,” he ground out as he felt nails dig into an exposed arm.

It was definitely Hassan that was spitting out things that would be done to him, but it was Matthew that he was slowly choking.

“Please, just give,” he said again, but this time more as a plea than an order. He could hear Matthew’s breaths getting more shallow and ragged, and he could feel that he was struggling less, but he didn’t lessen his hold until Matthew went limp.

He remained on the floor, still keeping a hold on Matthew and watched as nurses, orderlies and other members of staff tried to calm and settle the other patients, who had been set off by the sudden attack.

As the room was emptied and calm was restored he finally lessened his hold and ran one hand through Matthew's hair.

“I’m sorry, Mattie,” he said and let two orderlies take him.

Dom replaced him in his vision.

“You okay?” he asked.

He blinked, “I didn’t want to do that....but he...”

Dom put a hand out and helped him up, “You didn’t have a choice.”

“But it’s Mattie...dear god.”

“No Tom, that was Hassan.”

“They have to help him, Dom. If he tries that again and he gets hold of any kind of weapon, I might have to...”

He trailed off and shook his head, he didn’t want to think about that; he didn’t even think he could....no, they would help him...they had to.

***********************

Dominic took in a sharp breath when he saw the bruising that was already forming on Matthew’s throat; the choke hold must have been brutal to inflict that amount of bruising.

He sighed, any progress that might have been made if Tom Kirk hadn’t walked in was probably now lost. There was no way of knowing who would be there when Matthew woke up. He pulled his chair closer and took one of Matthew’s hands; it felt so very fragile, testament to the fact that Matthew’s health was suffering, because Hassan refused to eat properly.

He leant forward and said, “I hope you can hear me, I won’t call you Hassan, that’s just a name Bishara gave you. What you are is part of Matthew, the part that helped him survive all those years. But he doesn’t need to just survive any more, he needs to live and to be loved, and to love back.”

He stopped when the door opened and Chris walked in, of course Tom would have called the family.

“Bloody hell, Tom said he had to use more force that he wanted to. ”

“He didn’t have a choice, Chris. I don’t think Hassan would have stopped until he had hurt him. Tom did what he thought was right.”

“I know...but still. Tom wanted to resign.”

Dom looked at him, “No, don’t let him do that.”

“Dad refused anyway. Told him it couldn’t be avoided. Morgan told me that Matthew...the real Matthew was back.”

Dominic nodded, “Until Tom walked in, then Hassan was back with a vengeance. If he’s still here when he comes round, he’s going to be royally pissed off.”

They both stopped talking when Matthew began to stir and opened his eyes. Dominic sat straighter, there was something....then Matthew spoke.

“Love is a lie.”

Dominic blinked......it sounded like Matthew, but his voice seemed younger somehow. He looked at Chris, who frowned, then said.

“Mattie?”

Matthew’s eyes flicked towards Chris.

“ It makes promises, but it’s all lies.”

Dominic gave Chris a ‘what’s going on?’ look, but Chris didn’t seem to notice.

“You weren’t there, at the school gates.”

“Chris?” Dominic said, but was once again ignored.

“I was running late, you were gone when I got there.”

“I waited for an hour, but it was cold.”

Dominic could only listen to the conversation between Chris and what appeared to be a younger version of Matthew. Quickly he sent a text to Morgan, who seemed to appear only moments later.

“I’m sorry, Mattie,” Chris said, who looked at Morgan, who nodded....keep him talking.

“Sorry, s’just a word, don’t mean nothing. You didn’t say sorry when I came home hours later, you were angry at me, cause’ I didn’t wait. They were angry because they thought I’d been in a fight, what with the bruises and the ripped clothes....too angry to see the tears.”

“Mattie...” Chris started to say.

“Love is nothing but pain and bruises and ripped clothes.”

Matthew fell silent then and appeared to fall back into unconsciousness, leaving the three of them with another tangled piece of something that had happened in Matthew’s past, but no clue as to what it was.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A painful flashback......

_He looked at his watch and sighed. I’ll give him ten more minutes, he thought. He shrank back against the wall when the sporty kids appeared, but they were only interested in talking about football, and not baiting the ‘weird kid.’After that it was just teachers and most of those he either had no time for or thy had no time for him._

_He looked at his watch again; he wasn’t here and it had been an hour. He shivered as a blast of cold air cut through him...sod this, I’ll bloody walk, since he can’t be bothered to turn up on time._

_As he walked the route that he knew it started to rain...oh wonderful. He hunched his shoulders and quickened his pace. He heard a car slowing but he ignored it; if it was Chris, he could go away. He came to the road that he needed to cross to get to the cul-de-sac his house was in and he had to suddenly step back when a car stopped in front of him. He was about to give the driver his iciest glare, when the door opened and he froze._

_“Hello, Mattie.”_

_He thought he would never feel this sort of pain again, but now it hurt even more, because he fought and it cost him. He tried to block out the heavy breathing and the grunts of the man, but his weight made it impossible. He had given up crying out; there was no-one to hear him anyway. He bit his own lip to silence himself when the man bit into his shoulder as he finished, and minutes later he was left alone in the rubble of a deserted building, but with the man’s words burning into his soul._

_“I’ll see you at the school gates, my little Mattie.”_

_It was only after the man had driven off that he finally made a noise, and his sobs echoed around the empty space. He found a puddle of murky water and washed away the blood and the tears; he had to go home after all. He looked at his watch, but it was broken, so he had no idea of the time, and the man had stolen his mobile. It was getting dark, so he knew it must be late._

_He walked for what seemed hours before he reached any familiar streets. He’d tried to walk without showing the pain he was in, not wanting to garner and attention from the people that he passed. He was relieved when he saw that gates and lights of his house...then he could let go and be safe. But when he opened the door he was met by an angry Christopher, asking why the hell he hadn’t waited, and then his ‘parents’ demanding to know who he’d been fighting this time....couldn’t they see his pain....or they did and didn’t care. He ran to his room and let the tears fall._

_In his head he screamed but he remained mute...why would they believe him...so the next time he saw that car outside the school gates, he didn’t run...what was the point. It wasn’t long after that, the he heard the voice in his head, telling him the ‘if these men could use us, then we can use them...we can get what we want.”_

_He had first heard the voice when he was old enough to realise that what his uncle was doing was wrong. It had hissed and spat as his uncle ‘loved him’, and it was the voice that told him to ‘let him burn’ when the house caught fire. It was the voice that had told him it was fun to set light to cars and steal from the other boys in the home._

_He didn’t question the voice, and he missed it when it went away and he always welcomed it back when his life once again slipped out of his control. It didn’t have a name until it heard Hassan, it liked that name and so it became Hassan, and Hassan whispered to the part of him that was still frightened and angry._

_“Trust me...I will protect you.”_

**********************

Dominic looked through the window of what some people still called the ‘padded cell’. Matthew's condition had deteriorated, so much so that Morgan had decided to place him in the secure room for his own safety. This younger version of Matthew seemed to have come to the fore, but it wasn’t for long, as the two personalities vied for dominance, and Matthew’s lucid moments be come shorter and rarer; Hassan and Mattie as they had taken to calling the younger version were gradually destroying the Matthew that was now.

Morgan and the specialist were still arguing over the best course of treatment. The specialist wanted to medicate but Morgan was against the idea, wanting to get to the root cause, believing that there was one specific event that lead to Matthew’s personality splintering.

He sighed and watched Matthew for a few minutes, he was crouched in one corner, his lips moving, but Dominic knew the words would make no sense....only the Matthew that was gradually disappearing knew what they meant. But every attempt at trying to reach that Matthew had been thwarted by either the aggression and anger of Hassan, or the timidity and apathy of Mattie.

He closed his eyes, tiredness making them sore. He opened them again and found that Matthew had stopped talking and was staring directly at him. Was he having a lucid moment, he couldn’t tell.

“Oh, Matthew, you’re like a piece of rare china...so beautiful yet so fragile, one wrong move or touch and you’d shatter into dust and be blown away by the breeze. Yet so strong, strong enough to have survived for centuries...where is that strength?”

He watched as Matthew moved away from the corner and didn’t stop until he was up against the window.

Dominic could see a myriad thoughts and emotions in those eyes.....Matthew was back. Matthew placed a hand against the glass and Dominic matched it with his own, and those eyes were saying ‘help me.” 

I...we don’t know how to, not yet. But you have to stay, stay and fight, don’t let them out. Can you hear and understand...please stay.”

He looked into eyes that he hadn’t seen since that night of Matthew’s twenty-first birthday...but then he was gone as they became dull again and Matthew moved away from the door and back to the corner, once again caught in the middle of the battle between the two disparate personalities.

Dominic turned away then and sank down onto a chair, his heart on the verge of breaking...Christ, he loved that broken soul...he would give his own soul to have the Matthew that he’d seen, even if it was only briefly, the Matthew that had sparked the coals of love in him that he thought he would never feel again.


	17. Chapter 17

“How are you today, Matthew?”

“I’m fine.”

Morgan wrote something on his pad, “I see you’ve been taken your medication regularly.”

“They make me better.”

“Matthew, they help control the disorder, but they are not a cure. You know what will help you more than medication.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Morgan put his pen down and studied Matthew carefully. He’d been reluctant to medicate, as with all medication it had side effects, and in his mind it was like putting a plaster over a sliced artery. But Matthew’s physical health had started to suffer, and the decision was made for him. It had taken many weeks to get the dosage right and Matthew back to an almost healthy weight, but they had gotten there.

He was seeing Matthew because today would be different.....today Matthew was going home, only for the weekend. It was a big step and a risk, but he needed to see if Matthew could cope with being outside, he did not want Matthew to become institutionalised. The combination of drugs seemed to be working, and neither of his personalities had made an appearance in some time. He could only hope that eventually Matthew would be ready to talk about what had happened, what had triggered the need for his mind to create a hardened personality like Hassan and timid Mattie. But even if there were no DID, Matthew was still a troubled soul, and when he’d been in the control of Donnie James, Morgan believed that it was all Matthew, and he still believed that the answer to it all lay at Matthew's feet; Matthew was the key.

*********************  


Dominic actually felt nervous....Matthew was being allowed home for the weekend. Morgan had wanted to see if he could cope with living outside of the Institute, and it was his task to observe how and if Matthew could cope.

It meant he had to rein in his feelings for Matthew; which he knew was going to be very hard. How could you tell yourself to stop loving someone?

His thoughts were interrupted by Chris, who had been looking out of the lounge window.

“The car’s here.”

None of the family had seen Matthew since he’d attacked Thomas, and Dominic hadn’t seen him after his one visit to see him after he’d been placed in the secure room. He couldn’t bear watching Matthew deteriorate. But he’d been medicated since then and Morgan had said that some progress had been made, although there was still a long road ahead, and to entertain the possibility that Matthew may never be free of those other personalities.

Dominic knew all of this, but he and Matthew’s family were never going to give up hope. 

The front door opening and the murmur of voices stopped any more thoughts as himself and Chris both took deep breathes, neither of them knowing what to expect when Matthew entered the room.

Mister and Mrs Wolstenholme entered first and then Kelly, but Dominic couldn’t see Matthew. Kelly stepped out of the room and Dominic could hear something being said in a soft but insistent tone.

A few moments later Kelly reappeared and this time she was followed by Matthew and Dominic blinked. 

Gone was the bright blue hair and the cut was different...and bloody hell, he looked so thin, the clothes he was wearing seeming way too big for him. But it was Matthew's demeanour that was the most startling; he looked apprehensive and looked everywhere but at himself and Chris.

“Mattie,” Chris said and pulled him into a hug. “I’ve bloody well missed you, kid. C’mon, I take your stuff up to your room.”

Dominic tried not to be disappointed that Matthew hadn’t acknowledge him, but it hurt.

“Don’t expect too much out of him, Dom,” Kelly said. “This is as scary to him as it is to you and his family.”

She handed him a carrier bag.

“These are his meds. He has been taking them without any trouble, but here, it might be different. If he refuses you will have to be determined and forceful. Can you do that?”

Dominic nodded.

“Dom, I need you to say it. If he refuses, can you do what needs to be done?”

“Yes, myself and Chris will make sure he takes his meds.”

“Good, but keep a careful eye on him. Just because he’s on medication doesn’t mean he can’t have a relapse. It’ll only take one thing that stresses him out and no amount of medication will help.”

“I will, if it looks like he’s not coping, we’ll bring him back early.”

Kelly nodded. “Let’s hope that doesn’t happen.”

She turned to speak to Mister and Mrs Wolstenholme and it left him alone with his thoughts.

***********************

It wasn’t until that evening that Dominic finally got to be alone with Matthew. It seemed he still had the same habit of taking his food and eating it elsewhere, but Dominic found him anyway.

He was in the sun-room that he’d escaped from that night, and he was sitting on one of the sunbeds, staring up at the night sky. Dominic knew he had heard him come in, but was obviously ignoring him.

He wasn’t going to be deterred, he had a job to do, but he also wanted to reconnect with him; there was too much history between them for this to be anything but personal.

“Matthew,” he said, hoping to get his attention.

Matthew let out a sigh, then said, “There were no stars.”

Dominic frowned ,what did he mean?

“Why were there no stars?” he asked.

“There was nothing but white and bright lights..no stars. But do you know what was the worst thing of all?”

“No.”

Matthew turned on the sun-bed and looked at him, those crystal blue eyes that were slightly dulled by the medication.

“The worst thing was being alone, with nothing but the demons in your head for company...or so I thought. But even worse is the silence that’s there now.”

He stopped and Dominic wondered if he was going to continue, but he didn’t.

“Things will get better, Matthew.”

The look he got in reply to that held so much sadness, and the small shake of his head spoke volumes. Dominic didn’t stop him when he he got up and left....this was going to be heart-breakingly hard, he could feel it.

******************************

Matthew had been nervous...no scared as he stepped into his home. But it was better than being in the place where he couldn’t see the sky , so he would not complain.He did not know how to react when Chris had hugged him and meekly followed when Chris showed him to his old bedroom. 

They had said he had been in that place because of things that he had done, but he couldn’t remember. In fact, he couldn’t remember a lot of things, whole chunks of time were missing...Disassociative Amnesia Professor Nichols had said, part of his illness, he had said. But he didn’t understand....he just knew that he was ill and must have done bad things. He didn’t want to go back to that place, so he would be good and take his medication.

He felt like he should feel something for Dominic; it felt like they should be more than friends, but again it was a fuzzy memory. Maybe it would come back to him, maybe it would all come back...he hoped that it would.

He picked up his i-pad...funny how he hadn’t forgotten his password. He surfed the net for a while, until he felt too tired to continue and he settled in his bed....yes, it was better here than at that place.

*****************

“So, where are we on the Donnie James and Alexi Dematrov murders?”

“I’m getting nothing from the police. I think they’ve been told to not investigate.”

“You think someone higher up has told them to leave it alone.”

“Think about, what are the chances of finding them in the same burnt out car in the middle of the German countryside. I think there’s something else going on...and I tell you what else is odd. Rumour has it that Aziz Bishara has just dropped off the radar...gone and there’s a huge turf war. But that’s not the most interesting part. I was going through our old pieces on Bishara and I found something.”

The person pushed a photo towards the other man.

“See someone familiar.”

“Wait, isn’t that?”

“Yes, it’s the star witness in Donnie James’ trial...Matthew Bellamy. I think there’s a connection between this kid and all of them. Bishara had a liking for young men and Dematrov was a sex slaver and guess what, Donnie James was in the rent boy business.”

“But he dropped off the radar as well after Donnie James was freed.”

“Yeah....isn’t that a coincidence. And you know what’s even more of a coincidence.....one of my sources has told me that the kid is back, and he’s here in London.”

“If you can get me a picture, I’ll run it as our Sunday headline.”

***********************

The Wolstenholmes had decided to make the most of having Matthew home and since the weather wasn’t that bad they were going to go to the local park, just for a walk. Matthew had been reluctant, but Chris had managed to cajole and persuade him with hot chocolate....at least his love of hot chocolate hadn’t gone.

They were so involved in the activity and the fact that once outside Matthew seemed to be happy, they never noticed the man taking photographs...not until the papers arrived on the doorstep on Sunday morning.

It was a stroke of very bad luck that for some reason Matthew was the first to pick up the papers and the whole house was woken by yelling.

Dominic stumbled out of bed and onto the landing and found Matthew at the front door, the papers scattered around him.

“Matthew?” he called.

Matthew looked up and what he yelled next scared Dominic.

“We were right! We were right!”

He managed a few steps down before Matthew moved and as Dominic made it down the rest of the stairs, he heard the sound of the back door slamming....no, no. He sprinted for the door and rushed out into the garden, just in time to see Matthew disappearing over the wall.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are flashbacks and also the two personalities speaking inside Matthew's head.

_Keep running...don’t stop, if he catches you, the game is up. It should have been a simple distract and take, but the mark had turned out to be an undercover copper. He must have been from outside of the city, as he knew the identity of every narc and undercover copper within the city. He skidded round a corner and into a narrow passage way; he scurried down it, knowing there was an escape route and a bolt hole at the end._

_But this copper was fast and he was testing him. But he wasn’t as nimble, so he was already on the roof of the building by the time the copper had reached the ladder._

_“Stop there!” he yelled._

_“Don’t think so....see ya!” he yelled back, before running across the roof and squeezing between two walls that hide a small space, just large enough to hunker down in and muffle the snicker as he heard the copper curse at loosing the pickpocket . His elation at escaping gave him the extra confidence to pick another mark, and it had been a tasty one. He would have to tell the gang runner about the change in tactics by the coppers._

_Yeah, life on the streets of Manchester was decidedly on the up._

***************************

“Fuck,fuck,fuck!” Dominic swore as he jammed his feet into his trainers and thanking god that he was wearing his sweats. He rushed back into the garden, only briefly hearing someone calling the police, before he was clambering up the tree and over the wall with a lot less grace that Matthew probably had.

But Matthew was nowhere in sight, and he had no clue as to what direction he would have taken. By the time he’d jogged round to the front of the house, there was a police car outside, and ten minutes later a full search was in progress, with a helicopter buzzing overhead. Dominic was certain it was only the Wolstenholmes name and Matthew's mental instability that had prompted the intensive search.

He wanted to be out there, looking for Matthew, but he’d been told he couldn’t. He tried to tell them that Matthew knew how to hide from the police, and with the two disparate personalities in the mix, it would make it even harder.

“They won’t find him,” Chris said, once again vocalising what he himself had said. Eventually the helicopter had to turn away, to help with a vehicle pursuit. It was already falling dark and Dominic knew they would have to halt the search soon; which meant the chances of Matthew being found would decrease even more.

He looked out at he darkening sky...where are you?

*************************

_“You can’t trust them, who do you think told them you were here?”_

_“You have to hide.”_

_“Hide, we have to go back to my world, then they’ll hide from us.”_

_“You be quiet, Hassan.”_

“Shut up, shut up!” Matthew yelled and the voices fell silent. He was curled up in one of the hiding places he used to escape the bullies when he was a kid. He could hear the helicopter above, but his distrust of the police that had been burnt into him during his time on the streets in Manchester, kept him frozen in place.

Eventually he could no longer hear the helicopter, and it was getting dark; which meant that soon the search would be halted for the night. Not that they would find him; in fact they had gone right past his hiding place, and he didn’t want to be found.

To be found meant he would be going back to that place, he never wanted to go back there. He shivered as the temperature started to drop, he was only wearing a long sleeved t-shirt and jeans.

_“If we go to the London house, we’ll be warm and safe.”_

_“No, it’s not safe anywhere.”_

 _“Nice hot bath and a warm bed.”_

_“And people that could hurt you.”_

“Please stop,” he groaned as the two voices bickered. He wanted them to stop, but he knew that would only happen if he went back, and he didn’t want to take those tablets as they dulled his mind. But he didn’t want to be out here either, didn’t want to be cold and alone with just the voices. But who could help him, who could he trust...who would care enough? Of course, he would; he always had. He took out his phone, the one thing he was never without...what was the number? He couldn’t think clearly, the cold and the voices clouding his thoughts. With trembling fingers he tapped the screen, hoping that it was the right number.

Relief flooded through him when the right voice spoke.

“Hello?”

“Dominic,” he said.

********************

Dominic couldn’t relax, the search had been called off for the night, and they were going to start searching deserted buildings and god forbid, the canals. His stomach did somersaults at the thought that Matthew might actually be dead. His medication would be wearing off, and if one of the personality's hadn’t taken over, he would certainly be driven insane by the voices.

“Dom?”

He looked up and saw Kelly, who was holding out a mug. He took it and she sat down next to him.

“The police will find him.”

Dominic was sure about that. “They don’t know him, he knows how to hide and stay hidden. Chris says he’s been doing since he was kid.”

“You have to trust they will.”

“But they’re going to start trawling the canals...he wouldn’t.”

“It’s part of the search procedure. I don’t think he would, but you can’t say it wouldn’t happen.”

He jumped when his phone rang and frowned when it said unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Dominic,” came the answer, and for a few moments he was to shocked to speak. “Matthew, where are you?”

There was silence that seemed like an eternity before Matthew spoke again.

“Not sure....can’t think straight...they won’t shut up. It’s cold, Dominic and they won’t be quiet. Shut up...shut up.”

Dominic had to remain calm, if he allowed the panic he felt into his voice, it would panic Matthew and he would ring-off.

“Matthew, what can you see.”

“Hmm...see....yeah...see-saw...oh, it’s raining now, the sand will get wet...I’m getting wet. It’s too wet to go down the slide...”

Matthew’s voice faded and all Dominic could hear was the sound of rain.

“Matthew....Matthew?”

“Yeah....too wet to go down the slide.”

Then the distinct sound of the call ending filled his ears...sounding way too much like a death knell.


	19. Chapter 19

_He didn’t know how long he’d been hiding, but the bullies words still echoed in his head._

_“We’ll get you next time, wierdo!” “_

_See you at school, Bellamy!”_

_The only thing he could hear now was the sounds of the kids and parents; he was safe for now. But there was school tomorrow and the inevitable kicking he would get. He wished he had the courage to run away, but he was only thirteen and the police would be sent to find him and bring him back. He didn’t move until it was dropping dark, better to face a telling off than a beating._

*****************

“Dom, where is he?” Chris was asking, but Dominic wasn’t listening. Matthew had sounded so lost and helpless. “

Dom, where the fuck is he?”

He jumped and looked a Chris.

“He wasn’t making any sense, he was talking about sand and slides, and being cold and wet. I think he may be in the middle of a breakdown.”

Chris frowned, “Sand and slides?”

“That could be a kids play area. If the Matty personality was dominant, he would go somewhere he would feel safe.” Kelly said.

“But there’s hundreds of kiddies play areas,” Chris said.

“I’ll call the police,” Kelly said.

“No,” Dominic said, more sharply that he intended. “He sees or hears police, he could bolt,” he continued in a softer tone.

“We can’t search everyone,” Chris said. “Then we have to narrow it down. He couldn’t have gotten that far or the helicopter would have seen him, or one of the patrol cars.”

“So, you think he’s still nearby. If I remember it right, there are only four around here. He might have been to those when he was a kid,” Chris said.

“We’ll have to search them all, and we’ll need help. Chris, you have to tell your parents, because we need Tom.”

“Is that wise, given what happened last time.”

“I know, but Tom can handle him if it comes to that.”

“Okay, then let’s go and find him.”

**********************

It took them way too long to search and by the time they reached the last play area, they were cold and wet, the rain now coming down really heavily; so god knows how Matthew was fairing.

Tom held up his hand and pointed to a wooded area. “I think he’s in there,” he said quietly. “Dom, you should go and look, since he called you.”

Chris handed him Matthew’s coat and he walked towards the trees, stopping at the edge, so he could listen, and he heard someone crying. He wanted to rush forward, but he knew it could do more damage than good.

Slowly he pushed his way through the bushes and Matthew was there, huddled against a tree, his head covered by his arms. He approached slowly and said softly.

“Matthew.”

There wasn’t an immediate response, so he spoke again. He got a response this time as Matthew looked up; he looked thoroughly miserable. Dominic closed the gap and knelt down, ignoring the feel of the mud beneath him. Up close, he could see that Matthew's lips were tinged with blue and he was paler than he normally was. Silently he wrapped the coat around him.

He placed a hand on a very cold cheek and said, “Come on, let’s get you home.”

He stood and held out his hand and for a moment he thought Matthew wasn’t going to take it. Then he felt an icicle join his own cold hand and he pulled Matthew up. He put his free arm around Matthew's shoulders and gently guided him out of the trees.

Thankfully Matthew didn’t seem to notice Tom; in fact he didn’t seem to register the presence of the others at all. Once they were in the car he began to shiver uncontrollably, and his grip of Dominic’s hand didn’t lessen.

***************************

He had his head down, covering it with his arms, hoping it would keep the voices at bay. But they kept arguing and then berating him for his inaction; he didn't want to move, no matter how wet and cold he was.

“ _I told you, no-one gives fuck about us. Let me in and we won’t care, we can go and have some fun.”_

It was only one voice now, the other seemed to have faded away, or this voice was the stronger one.

“No,” he said.

Then he heard another voice....no, please don’t torture me. Then the voice came again; it wasn’t inside his head. He looked up, he was here, he’d taken the effort to find him.

“ _Don’t listen to him, he lies,”_ the voice hissed.

But he didn’t listen and took the hand that was offered, and soon he was warm and letting sleep take him, and the voice fell silent, but he thought he heard his voice...or perhaps he was dreaming it.

***********************

The journey back to the Wolsteholme’s was done in silence and the next few hours were taken up getting Matthew warmed and dry. It worried Dominic that Matthew didn’t seem to be resisting; in fact apart from the grip on his hand Matthew still seemed not to notice his surroundings.

He sat with Matthew until he fell asleep and then allowed himself to sleep, exhaustion finally catching up with him. He was woken by what sounded like a groan, and he looked over to the bed. He was instantly alert...Matthew sounded and looked ill.

Now the Wolstenholme’s GP was examining him.

“He should be heading for A&E, I don’t like the rattle on his chest,” he was saying, even though he’d already been told that it wasn’t going to happen. “ He needs intravenous antibiotics, but I can set it up here, I’ll call my clinic and have one of my clinical nurses bring what’s needed. She will be staying to monitor him, but if this worsens and she feels he should be in hospital, then he will be.”

He left the bedroom with Mister Wolstenholme, no doubt wanting to know why they didn’t want him in hospital.

Dominic knew they really should take him to hospital, but he knew how that could go. Matthew would react badly and he could end up out of their care and into the hands of those that would only see him as an hospital number.

Eventually he was once again left alone with Matthew. He took a cloth and wiped away the sweat that had gathered.

“Matthew, I don’t know if you can hear me, I hope you can. Do you remember your twenty-first birthday, the Festival of Lights, when we had way too much candy floss and the toffee apples you obsessed over. I remember watching you as you watched those high wire artists, with just the flames lighting your face, you looked so carefree...so beautiful. I thought you finally had a chance to be happy, be the person...the man you should be....”

He broke off then and closed his eyes and offered up a silent prayer that when Matthew got over this, he would be given a chance to do that, and that whatever demons were currently haunting him would be vanquished...and if Matthew wanted it, he would be there right alongside him.


	20. Chapter 20

“ _Dom?”_

_Dominic shifted slightly, sleep finally having taken him._

_“Dom?”_

_He snapped his eyes open and found Matthew sitting opposite him, blues eyes sparkling with amusement._

_“Come on, sleepy head, you don’t wanna miss this.”_

_He was dragged up and pulled along and outside into the back garden. It was still dark outside but he could see where he was being pulled to, the tree-house. He followed Matthew as he climbed and found him sitting on the platform just below the tree-house._

_“Why have you dragged me out here?” he asked._

_“Look,” Matthew said, pointing up._

_He looked up and saw what he was pointing at, the moon. But it had a red tinge to it._

_“It’s a blood moon, Dom,” Matthew said._

_“I know what it is. I’ve seen one before.”_

_“Yeah, me too, but do you know some people say. They say it means there’s going to be a death tonight. Crazy, I know. But you know what, I think it’s true.”_

_Dominic laughed and looked at Matthew, who had moved and was climbing along one of the thicker branches._

_“Matthew, don’t go any further.”_

_Matthew looked back, “Nah, I want to get a better look.”_

_“Matthew, it’s not safe...come back.”_

_Matthew disappeared into the foliage and he edged forward, stopping shy of the branch, not sure if it would take his weight as well. H let out a relieved breath when Matthew re-emerged...then he saw that Matthew was carrying...what? He was frozen in place as he watched Matthew._

_“What are you doing?”_

_“Well, it’s a blood moon, isn’t it? Besides, it’s for the best, no more trouble for anyone....no-one will come after me or any of you.”_

_Dominic finally got his muscles to move and he started to inch towards Matthew, still wary of the branch as it creaked at the extra weight._

_“Matthew,please....”_

_Then everything went into slow motion as Matthew slipped the noose around his neck, gave him a sad smile and slipped off the branch and the awful sounds of someone choking began._

_“Matthew!!!”_

Dominic woke with his name dying on his lips, but those choking noises were still there, and they were coming from Matthew.

************************

A&E was crowded and busy and once again Dominic was sitting in the waiting area, waiting for news about Matthew. One of Matthew’s lungs had become filled with fluid and now they were in the process of draining that fluid. He’d wanted to be there with him, but he’d been told it was family and partners only. Several times he’d tried to get information, but he always got the same answer. Finally he saw a friendly face, as Kelly appeared through the restricted access door. She’d been allowed in as she was part of Matthew's mental welfare team and she was a qualified doctor.

“How is he?” he asked.

“It was a struggle, since he was partly lucid. They had to sedate him in the end, but it’s done. They’re transferring him to AAU for observation. You can go and see him, if you want. But Dom, I had to tell them that he suffers from DID. But they can’t give any of his meds whilst he’s sedated and under observation, so.....”

He could only stare in disbelief. “Restraints, they’ve put him in restraints.”

“It’s for his own safety, they don’t...we don’t know who he’ll be when the sedatives wear off.”

“It’s not right,” he said in a quiet tone, aware there were other patients.

“I know and his family know. But you weren’t there, he tried to pull the drain out...twice. They have to think of what might happen.”

“Then I’m staying, you know how he reacts to hospitals.”

Kelly was about to speak again, when Matthew let out a groan.

“The sedatives are wearing off,” she said and went in search of a nurse.

Dominic moved closer as Matthew became more and more alert, ready to reassure him that things would be okay, despite the restraints.

Then Matthew flexed his hands and he was suddenly very much awake and very, very vocal.

********************

_He waited at the corner, at the usual time and the usual day, as he’d been told and had grown used to doing. The day that the Wolstenholmes thought he was at an extra-study club, or so the forged letter he’d shown them had said. He expected the car to head in the same direction, but was puzzled when it didn’t. He saw the same faces at this new location; except for one, but he was sure his face would become very familiar._

_He frowned when they didn’t start as they always did, giving him what they laughingly called ‘happy pills’ More fear than normal began to creep into his bones, at least with the pills it made his time in hell pass quickly. Movement to his left caught his eye and he looked over, and his eyes widened with fear....no terror._

_He twisted his hands, trying to loosen the leather straps that held him in place on the bed. He let out a whimper of sheer terror as the new face manoeuvred his body and forced his his legs up and apart, whispering words that he knew had no love or affection behind them, knowing that the tears that were now falling unabated would also be ignored.....as were the screams as pain burnt through him as things were done to him that would scar his already scarred psyche forever_.

****************

Dominic jumped when Matthew let out a terrified cry and pulled against the restraints. He placed a hand on Matthew’s chest and said in what he hoped was a calm voice.

“It’s okay....just calm down.”

But Matthew kept struggling and Dominic realised that he wasn’t actually awake, even though his eyes were open.

“No..please...no....no!”

Matthew once again pulled against the restraints, letting out another terrified cry. Dominic could hear the other patients and knew it wouldn’t be long before the nurse showed.

“Fuck this,” he said and quickly undid the restraints and instantly Matthew stopped struggling, but now he was crying and shaking, what sounded like frightened whimpers replacing the loud cries.

Dominic could hear the nurse coming, but he kept his focus on Matthew, who had now opened his eyes, and he could see the terror that he’d vocalised. But it was when he spoke that Dominic knew it wasn’t his Matthew.

“Please....stop.” The voice sounded younger....Mattie was back and must be reliving something horrible that happened.

Then in that child’s voice, he said something that no child should ever say.

“Please....just kill me.”


	21. Chapter 21

Dominic wasn’t quite sure that he’d heard right...had a child just asked to be killed...what had happened and was being replayed in his head that was so bad that he would rather be dead. He waved the nurse away saying that Matthew had calmed down after he’d taken the restraints off and to sue him for taking the off. He didn’t wave Kelly away and was glad when she pulled the privacy curtains around.

“Kells, Mattie is back.”

As if to prove him right, Matthew...well Mattie began speaking again, but it still wasn’t pleasant.

“Give me the happy pills...please...it hurts so much.”

“Talk to him,Dom,” Kelly said.

“Kelly, just before you came back, Mattie said he wanted someone to kill him.”

It looked like Kelly was thinking; no doubt going into her psychiatrist mode.

“Ask him why?”

“Are you sure?”

“A memory of something traumatic must have been triggered, we might learn something.”

“Okay,” he said and tuned back to face Matthew. “Mattie, why do you want someone to kill you?”

“I want it to stop.”

“Mattie, is someone hurting you?”

“He won’t stop....I just want....oh, please...just one pill...what is that...oh no....”

His voice trailed off and dissolved into body-racking sobs.

Dominic just wanted to gather him in his arms, but this was, well in mind only, a school-aged Matthew.

The nurse had returned with a doctor in tow, who didn’t sound very happy.

“I’ll deal with it,” Kelly said and disappeared with the doctor, leaving the nurse with Dominic and Matthew...did they think he was going to harm him? He could hear what sounded like heated words, the doctor and Kelly must be disagreeing. A few minutes later Kelly reappeared and thankfully Matthew or Mattie had gone quiet.

“They’re going to move him to a specialist ward and into a side room. I’ve called Morgan and his parents. Dominic, I think whatever his reliving could be one of the triggers for his DID or at least a big part of it. We need to deal with this now, before Mattie disappears again, or worse Hassan shows up.”

“You want Mattie to stay.”

“Dom, you know that Matthew won’t voluntarily tell us anything. But this personality might. It could be the breakthrough we need.”

“He might not be Mattie when he wakes up.”

“He might not, but I think the restraints may have triggered a traumatic memory, from his teens, and that’s why Mattie has resurfaced.”

They stopped talking when the porters arrived to move Matthew to the ward.

“Myself, Morgan and the doctors and Matthew’s parents are meeting in the morning. If he's well enough we’re transferring him back to the clinic.”

Dominic looked at her, “You’re going to put restraints on him again.”

“Only if everyone agrees, I’d like you to be there as well. We value your opinion. I know it sounds cruel, but it will be done under strict supervision. If we can get Mattie to talk, then we can confront Matthew with it and he won’t have any choice but to face up to whatever happened.”

Dominic sighed...how much more would Matthew have to endure before he had some peace in what had been a traumatic and soul-destroying life.

“Go home Dom, get some sleep....and before you say it, Chris is staying with him. Mister Wolstenholme is very hard to say no to.”

Dominic didn’t want to, but at least Chris would be someone that if it was Matthew that woke he could trust and if Mattie was still present, he wouldn’t be a stranger. As he lay in bed and thought about, yes what Morgan and Kelly were suggestion was cruel, but it wasn’t meant with malice. Matthew needed to unburden himself from his past, no matter how painful it would be.

********************

Chris would never get use to seeing his baby brother in a hospital bed. He could still clearly remember Matthew’s first asthma attack,how frightened he’d looked, as he was fighting for breath. It was another thing he would take out on the person who had shoved a lighted rag through a door and made Matthew an orphan and damage his lungs. Then there had been the things that can usually happen to kids......a broken arm, amongst other injuries.

But now he was beginning to wonder about some of the injuries he’d seemed to get as a teenager, were they because he was at the ‘awkward, clumsy age’? What if some of the had been in fights with the little toe rag that everyone knew was a bully, but never stopped, since it always happened out of school.

But there were times, especially after his fourteenth birthday and if he thought about, right up to when he was just shy of sixteen, that he would come home after his extra study class and he seemed to be holding himself like he was hurting. But he never saw any bruises; not on his face anyway.

A horrible thought made him shudder...what if something far worse had been happening; the very thought made him sick, had he fallen into the hands of more sick bastards?

He knew from the research that he’d done after Matthew’s confession at Dominic’s house and before he’d run into the clutches of Donnie James, that those types of people always seemed to be in communication with each other; had those that had been party to his abuse, eventually re-found him?

He looked over at Matthew, who was still sleeping, but it didn’t look like it was a restful sleep. “Oh kiddo, we’ve really let you down, haven’t we. All that time we thought you were just acting out, but you never said anything, you just kept your silence. I swear, if anyone was doing what I really hope they weren’t, I’ll....well, me and my rugby mates, we’ll make sure they regret ever touching you.”

***********************

_He tried not to flinch when he ruffled his hair._

_“You were a good lad, maybe next time we can make those straps a little tighter....because you looked so good all helpless and begging me to stop. Yes, I like him, I’m sure the others will too when I show them the DVD.”_

_He said nothing and was silent as he was driven back to the corner, and then silently got out of the car before beginning the walk back to his home. He didn’t care that it was raining...getting wet was nothing compared to what had just happened, and the rain would hide his tears._


	22. Chapter 22

“I really don’t like this,” Chris said.

They had brought Matthew back from the hospital and back into the Institute. He was under light sedation, in that hope that it would keep Matthew calm, but also in the hope that it would mean the ‘Mattie’ personality was still present.

He’d voiced his misgivings about what they were going to do; this was his kid brother, for Christ’s sake, but he could understand why they were doing it. His parents and himself were getting desperate to find a way to help Matthew. They feared that he could end up permanently in Morgan’s care and within the walls of the Institute.

“Dom, Chris, you ready?” Morgan said.

Chris looked over at Dominic, who looked nervous, and he knew that his mum, dad and Kelly were sitting behind the one-way glass, no doubt as nervous as he was.

Since ‘Mattie’ seemed to be of school age, it was more than likely that he would respond to him ; if he was still present.

“Go ahead,Chris,” Morgan said from behind the camera.

He let out a nervous breath; he hated this as much as Dominic. But he, like everyone else had to know what had happened. Matthew’s behaviour had suddenly changed when he turned fourteen. He’d become more withdrawn, if that were even possible. He was certain now, that something had happened that day he was late picking him up from school, as it was the day after that, that his behaviour had changed.

“Hey kiddo,” he said.

“Lemme sleep, s’not a school day.”

Chris looked at Dominic and then at Morgan... ‘Mattie’ was still here.

Morgan nodded, Chris knew what questions he had to ask.

“So, how was the extra-study class?”

“S’okay.”

“We called the school after you came home with that black-eye. You haven’t been going to the classes. Where have you been going?”

He hated lying....for all he knew he had been going to classes, but the reply crushed that hope.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why?”

“I’ll get in trouble and the social might take me away.”

“Why would they take you away, what did you do?”

“I’m not supposed to tell.”

“You can tell me.”

“No, I can’t tell anyone...ever.”

“Chris, he’s not going to willingly tell you...you know what you have to do,” Morgan said.

Chris shot him a ‘I bloody know’ look, and he looked at Dom, who nodded.

He hated this, the restraints didn’t look right of such delicate wrists. As he fastened them, he could see the scars...so many, physical and emotional.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Okay, tighten them,” he heard Morgan say.

He hesitated, then they tightened them at the same time, and the reaction was instant. But this time Matthew didn’t struggle, as the sedative did its work....but Chris wished he could erase the next ten minutes from his memory and he was thankful that Morgan took over asking the questions.

“No...please, they hurt.”

“What hurts, Matthew?”

“They hurt...please.”

“Matthew...listen to me. I want you to watch it like it was film...can you do that?”

“Yes.”

“Good....now, what is hurting the boy?”

“The straps on his wrists.”

“Who put the straps on his wrists?”

“A man.”

“Is the boy alone with this man?”

“No....there are other men. I think they’re watching. The boy doesn’t have any clothes on, the man is touching him, and the other men aren’t stopping it. He shouldn’t be doing that...I hate this film, turn it off.”

“No, Matthew, keep watching. This man, is he trying to have sex with the boy.”

“I th-think so, but the boy is fighting him, he’s trying to kick him. He’s hitting him on the face, he's not kicking any more. Please, turn it off....oh, the man has something in his hand. What is he doing.....please stop it...the boy is screaming...turn it off!”

“Keep watching, Matthew. What is he doing?”

“I don’t want to look...please!”

“Matthew, what is he doing?”

“No...please stop...he’s burning...you’re burning me!”

Both Chris and Dominic jumped as the last sentence was yelled in Matthew's voice and not Mattie's. 

Matthew was straining against the restraints, and cries of pain were being torn from his lips.

“Get those fucking things off!” Chris was shouting.

Dominic rushed forward and quickly undid the restraints...but Matthew didn’t stop. So he did what he’d always done, when they had been together and Matthew had woken up yelling and crying after a dream. He managed to get his arms around him and held him tightly, but Matthew kept struggling.

“It’s okay, he’s not here, none of them are....ssh now, don’t fight me.”

Matthew let out a shuddering sob.

“H-he burnt me w-with c-cigarettes....t-then he r-raped me, l-like they a-all h-had.”

Dominic heard Chris take a deep breath; he no doubt felt sicker than he did.

“It’s m-my f-fault...I s-should have waited for Chris.”

“No, it’s not your fault, don’t ever think that.”

He could feel Matthew shake his head, but there were no more words, only tears, until Matthew fell into sleep. Only then did Dominic let go of him.

Everyone was in shock, even Morgan and Kelly, who had least been expecting there to be some sort of trauma, but not one so shocking. 

Dominic was sure he looked as pale as Chris did and was fighting back the tears. Mrs Wolstenholme was openly crying and Mister Wolstenholme looked upset, shocked and angry.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Chris said, “ And I was angry at him that day and every time he came home late...all that time they were....it’s fucking sick.”

“Professor Nicholls, I believe that is enough. There will be no more of this type of therapy, is that clear?” Mister Wolstenholme said.

“I understand, sir,” Morgan replied. “It was only going to be one session, and I think it may have done what it was supposed to.”

“I do hope so, because he will not be put through such a traumatic experience again.”

“He wont be, sir, we can work with him now. We will have to contact the SSO team at Scotland Yard eventually, because I think now he will want to talk.”

“But what about his DID?” Dominic asked.

Morgan hesitated before speaking.

“That I’m afraid may be something he will have to live with. But with the right therapy, I believe he can control it himself, without the need for medication. But that is still some distance away.”

“Doesn't matter how long it takes or how much it will cost,” Mister Wolstenholme said. “As long as we get Matthew back.”

Dominic looked through the one-way glass at the sleeping Matthew. He hoped that would be true, because he wanted his Matthew back, the one that had he started to show him...the kind, caring and compassionate Matthew...the Matthew that he’d heard sing like an angel and play piano like his very soul was born to make music.

He had to hope that the Broken Melody that had been Matthew’s life would soon be an harmonious one.

 

TBC Continued in "Twisted Lullabye"


End file.
